Body Language

This is a story about your body.

In the beginning Body was created by God using the same materials of the Earth, binding us to mother nature herself. However, Body wasn't all dust. Body was created after God's 'likeness', His image. 

Body reflects God's majesty like all of God's creations; but Body wasn't made to just be another one of God's creations. Body was made like God's body was made. Body had a higher calling from God Himself. 

Body wants nothing more than to do good in the sight of God, to be a safe haven and to provide for what Soul (that's YOU) needs through their journey on Earth. 

Body LOVES Soul and would do anything that Soul wanted it to do, as long as it was allowed by God. 

Sometimes Body is given limitations. 

God says this helps many souls. 

Sometimes Body wants what it shouldn't have. 

God says this helps many souls too. 

Sometimes scary things happen to Body that Body doesn't understand and holds onto for a long time. 

God says that each soul was given agency but that through Him all things will be made right and that someday Body will be perfected once more. 

Body continues to serve Soul however it can. 

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2023, the Year of the Body

written on 12/7/23

As I have been focusing on my own body this year, and reflecting back on it, this blog started to form on it's own. That's usually a good sign that I've learned enough of this lesson to then share about it. This isn't always the case, though. Sometimes the lesson itself is sharing before I feel like I know anything. By doing that God shows me that I was learning more than I thought I did. Or, just like a quiz, it gives me a marker for where more improvement can be had.

Looking up the definition of improvement, the parts of the definitions that stood out to me were "makes something better" and "something that enhances value or excellence". My favorite word out of all of this is "enhance"; to "increase, or further improve the quality, value or extent of". 

When we seek improvement it doesn't mean that we just force into fruition our own desires but rather that we further enhance what was already there in the first place. We take where we are at currently "over a greater expanse of space or time; for a longer way." (That's one of the definitions of further).

We are called by God to move forward, not just to sit in where we currently are as if it is "good enough". Sure it is "good enough" for now, but not over a 'greater expanse of space and time'. We aren't just living for our 'now' because our 'now' builds our futures. We do however need to be observant and present in our 'now' so that we can see the areas of our life that are calling out to us for "improvement"; or as I've been calling them on this blog "life lessons". 

Last year I had the strong inclination that this year would be the "Year of the Body" as last year was "The Year of the Mind" for me. My body became one of the many lessons I would learn this past year. 

Being the story lover that I am, and as this blog began to write itself in my mind, I thought it would be impactful to give our bodies some character. I wanted to open the blog up with that character of Body to better emphasize each step I took this "Year of the Body". 

First, love Body.

This part, for many, is the hard part and therefore has been glorified as "body positivity" or "body love". In an article titled "Is Body Love Realistic?" written by Christine DeFilippis on AceFitness.org she goes over topics like "body positivity", "body neutrality", and "body liberation" saying that "having body love, being body confident, or having a positive body image is simply how YOU feel about your body" and that "we have the power to change the way we see, feel, and think about our bodies."

Christine says that "Having a positive body image is not the same as body positivity" referencing to the "body positivity" or "body love" commercialized movement that can "impact us in a negative or positive way". 

If we are having a hard time loving Body as it is now, like all life lessons this is it's "call of action". Pay closer attention to the frustrations, irritations, jealousy, and judgements that are present within you. They are there for a reason. They are there to teach you if you let them. 

For example are you skipping this step and just going straight for a specialized diet or exercise regiment? Or are you frustrated at your bodies inability to do what you want it to and therefore hyperfocus on other peoples bodies? What is the language you use to describe your body or others bodies? Don't let these deflate, discourage, or keep you in an unmotivated state! Find a love and care for Body, doing the best it can, and then use those feelings you have as fuel to propel you forward! But you have to find some kind of love for your body first or the rest of the steps will fall apart or simply not happen. You'll be stuck in the cycle of trying everything else you can without addressing the foundation of body improvement and then landing you back in your restless feelings. If you're like me this might mean going to therapy to strengthen your mind first to then strengthen your relationship to your body.  

If we've managed to finally get ourselves to love, or at least respect, our bodies than we have accomplished something grand. However, it's only the first step. We can rest here but we cannot stop here. 

Second, listen to Body.

I'm sure you've heard about the "mind and body connection", or "body intuition" or "body language". Having our body is like any other relationship we encounter. Which is why it's important to pay attention to how we speak about ours or others bodies like I mentioned above. You've probably heard this one before too: "your body is like a child" but what does this mean? 

It means that it is naturally more inclined to follow what you, the soul, say or do. It means it might throw a tantrum when it's not sure how to express what it is feeling. It means that when a traumatic event happens it's not sure how to process it so it holds on until YOU, it's caretaker, comfort Body. It means that it takes what you feed it, dress it, and encourage (or force) it to do. It means Body looks up to you as it's example and loves and adores you. It means that Body wants to make you happy and make you proud. Body is very susceptible. 

Just like every other relationship, cultivating your relationship with your body is also important. Now that you are happy with your body you may realize as I did that it's not very happy with you. Body has most likely been trying to tell you with the only language it was given. Body speaks through "symptoms" such as acid reflux, breathlessness, pain, discomfort, immobility, irritability, crying, and illness. 

This is why its important to love Body first, because if you love then you're more inclined to listen, help, and give it the time it needs.

Third, set boundaries. 

If you've skipped this far ahead in the blog post because you want "fast results" then stop right now and go back to step one. Working through something difficult is never fast, it's a process. In fact Body is the way it is today not because you ate a bunch of food your last meal but because of consistently processing what you've given it over time. Body is just doing what it has been designed to do and what it is being told to do and this all starts with mind. A patient mind will tell you that you have all the time and resources you need. An anxious mind will try to rush through to where it can to find peace and rest. A compassionate mind can understand more easily that boundaries are not strict but a flexible cycle, devoting much time to trial, error, forgiveness, and another boundary. 

Body is meant to be fed and to use that food as fuel to operate all the many functions it is responsible for. While it is important to give it the best food you can so that it can operate well, in this step we're not focusing on that. 

Once Body has used up all it needs to function it then stores what's extra away for "safe keeping". It was in this stage that I had to laugh at myself for being so upset when I first saw the number on the scale for 150, the most I had ever weighed, not pregnant. I was HAPPY with my body and then my husband had to go and buy a scale and ruin all that happiness! Was I really mad at my husband? No. In fact by this stage I was grateful for what he did! It was him buying that scale that I had my reality check. I was happy with my body. I even took it to a private photoshoot for our birthday inspired by a carefree dream I had while I was in therapy. 

Are you seeing all the connections here?! Because up until this point I hadn't. 

I was MAD at my husband and then MAD at my body for doing the very things I NEEDED. 

I needed that number to finally take action for my body that had been crying out for help long before that number came into my sights. I didn't hear my body so I needed to see it. My Body had more than what it needed to function and so it happily put it away in case it needed to feed us later in an emergency. 

The problem with that was there was no emergency that is foreseen in the nearby future where that stored up fat would be needed. So what I needed to do now was to help my body to use up what it was saving. This was my responsibility. In order to do this I educated myself on how many calories are in each serving of food. This is where "counting calorie" diets are helpful but don't get sucked into the diet itself or you will unravel all the work you've put into loving and listening to your body up to this point. 

I have a list on my fridge of a few general things we eat and how many calories they are on average. For example you can eat a piece of bread for a hundred calories and still be hungry or you can eat 14 cups of spinach (and probably not even finish it) for a hundred calories and feel more full. Being calorie conscious is much more helpful then calorie counting because it doesn't restrict, it educates and also encourages boundaries. Set a low calorie goal for yourself to help your body use up it's stores. It'll look like a TINY amount compared to what you normally have been eating but I promise you it's enough and if your stomach is growling that's a good sign. FEEL the hunger! Let yourself GET hungry! If you are actually hungry your body not only will use what it has but you'll also feel better and enjoy the food more because your body isn't overloaded with trying to process mass amounts of food. Even if you didn't look at calories for a guide but just cut your food intake down by half you'd be helping your body out!   

 Just as a child is meant to "test it's boundaries" so will Body. Body had been very well fed up to this point with ALL the delicious things and so naturally it's not going to understand why there is less of it. At this point, just like any other diet, it's going to retaliate at any restrictions and remind you of all the things it likes to eat. It had a system going that you just disrupted it; so keeping that love for your body in mind don't restrict it but also don't buy and eat everything it tells you too. If Body is saying it's hungry use those listening skills you've been practicing and see if Body is really actually hungry or if Body is just craving. If Body has gotten to this point of needing an intervention more than likely intuitive eating no longer will work for your relationship because Body is going to be confused between what is a want and what is a need.

Keeping these boundaries is the second hardest part for most people because it is too easy to either just give Body what it wants all the time or becoming frozen with the inability to make any further choices. This is the time to fall back on the bottom line to "Feel Hungry" and being "calorie conscious". Throw all other expectations out the window for now. This is not the time to feed your body fourteen cups of spinach. It will only retaliate harder making it nearly impossible to hold the boundaries you set for it. Like I said before this is not the stage for giving Body the best food for it's fuel, that will come here and there through consistent exposure to "better options". For now if you eat your main meal and you've already curbed that hunger and reached that estimated calorie amount don't finish just because there is leftover on your plate and don't force yourself to eat those vegetable's just because they're good for you and you're feeling guilty for not having any all day. 

Guess what? There's tomorrow! Or the next meal! Remember you have time, trial, error, forgiveness, and a chance to try again. You love your body and your body loves you. 

Do you see the beautiful friendship being developed here? 

Fourth, exercise. 

There are so many diet regiments out there where their slogan goes something like "eat right and exercise". While these two things are important as we just talked about "eating right" doesn't just come at once. In fact I'm not even going to give it it's own "step" because it is a consistent thing that is incorporated here and there. We are taking our time being gentle, loving, and kind to our friend Body. If we shock or stress out Body with trying to rush any part of the process it's going to complain, retaliate, and refuse to go anywhere else except for back to where it was comfortable. As we have learned thus far, however, is that comfortable is not improvement. In order to have children to understand this we have to communicate with them, give them examples that show the importance of why we do challenging things, and then give them the time to adjust. We might need to teach the same lesson in many different ways for years before in clicks. 

The same goes for Body. 

I put exercise as the last step because I believe that you need to establish all of the other stages first to gain a trusting and loving relationship with you and your body before putting it through more anguish. That's not to say that like trying to eat well you can't do it here and there through the other stages. If you do, be gentle with your body and realize that if the weight doesn't move on the scale it is NOT a reflection of you not doing enough. If anything it might be a reflection that you are doing TOO much. This could be too much eating again or too much exercising which stresses out the body. Revaluate and then go through the boundary cycle again trial, error, forgiveness, and try again. 

I am currently in this stage myself. I was able to loose ten pounds by just eating less and letting my body get hungry for about two months and use what it's got but then the number on the scale hasn't shifted much for these past two months. It fluctuates between 136-140 daily but that isn't a disappointment for me because I love my body and what it's already done! It's exciting and I overall feel much better so I'm keeping at it!

In this final step I've been going to the gym more often and working out, but not just any workout. I had the thought that if I want to continue to communicate with my body instead of hoping I'll loose weight in my thighs were it likes to hang out the most I'm going to focus on exercises that send the message to my body that I want that area of fat storage to be used up, please and thank you. I'm also doing exercises that strengthen the muscles around my knees because as my chiropractor dad has told me, "you have knees like some of the old ladies I've adjusted."

This statement, for the record, was never offensive to me but if I have old lady knees and I'm not even that old yet then it's probably a good idea that I work on strengthening them. 

 And that's it...

This is my own body relationship I've been working on this year that I've felt inclined to share. This is what is working for me and I honestly believe it could work for so many others. I am not a dietician or doctor or even an expert. These thoughts and actions have just made sense for me and they all thread back to the same core thought as many of my other lessons in "finding the good". God has led me step by step through each process and challenge I have faced and by working at one small thing at a time I have come to the point of being able to look back and be extremally grateful for how far I've come! Having my "Year of the Body" has only been a small part of it all and is being accomplished because of everything else I've learned before it, thanks to God, the master teacher. 

And Body and Soul lived happily ever after through all the pains, trials, and tribulation.