which was so nice especially because our next call when you landed in Texas lasted only a minute and your voice sounded a little tense. From the videos I've watched and the experiences I've read it sound like that's when things get started. I can't wait to hear your experience. In your call you told me you loved me and that you arrived safely, I told you I loved you too and the kids and I told you good luck and that was it. At least I thought it was it until I got your text: "My last call was at the Airport. We just now got on the bus to head to the base. Another 30 to 45 minutes. Then it really begins. You three are my world. I love you so much. Thank you for supporting me while I do this. We are all in this. This will be the hardest thing I do. I'm grateful that I have you three to back me up. See you in a second." I responded and I saw your text bubbles but you only "loved" and "thumbs-upped" my texts. I wondered if it was because you couldn't really respond on the bus. According to the videos and the experience I've read you go straight to the Pfingston Center, get off the bus, and get your military issued items and a box of food that is supposedly not very tasty as they've been nicknamed "box nasties". After that you get organized into flights, back on the bus, and sent to your dorms where you really get yelled at and you get your locker and bed. Today, tomorrow and Friday are the days I'm most curious about because from what I can find no one can remember exactly what happened these days or every bodies day to day experiences were different. I want to know what you're doing everyday but I can only ever find your scheduled activities week by week. I guess I'll just have to stop figuring it out and wait for your stories. Here is the zero week activities I found and the following in dark blue is everything I've gotten in a letter from Da Beast or have understood from his letters and everything else is put in the order I imagine the activities being:
- First week Briefing depends on the lieutenant colonel that you have and the speech they give. It could be on the bleachers in the graduation ceremony arena. One guy (on YouTube with Martin Productions) said their leader briefed them by saying "this is your life, your legacy, and your heritage. Your life is going to suck. Congratulations." They will however still welcome you and read you your rights as a trainee and what the MTIs can and can not do. If they violate any of these rules you must report it.
- UCMJ (Uniform Code of Military Justice) -now that you wear the fabric of freedom their are rules that you can and cannot do as a military member.
- Coping with BMT - Chapel Orientation- You'll go back into the Pfingston Center Auditorium where you did your processing. One of the Chaplin is going to brief you on your religious rights. You can demand the two hours on Sunday to attend church. It is your right.
- Squadron Tour (Pay attention and know where you are going especially to know where to go for any appointments)
- Haircuts/ clippers
- Immunization, blood draw, and drug testing
- Pay ($400 advance for all your 1st issue clothing and equipment)- you'll be going over your direct deposited account and making sure you're getting paid.
- 1st issue- you get all of your apparel such as uniforms, boots, hats, clothing, running shoes, a large green duffel bag,equipment, and how to store it all flush against the side of the bed.
- Health, Morale and Welfare- from what I understand this is when they check ALL of what your brought from home and go over your cell phone policy while at basic. I guess you can earn extra calls and even have 15min ones "scheduled" in week three and six but those can change depending on how your flight is doing. This is also the time where you get to text your address and call and recite your address speech. Address Text & Call (within 72 hours of arriving at JBSA Lackland)-this happened on Thursday September 24th, 2020 at 11:11am and lasted 2 minutes.
- Initial phone call (see above)
- Inital base exchange [BX] issue: In your basic military training study guide on page 35 will be a list of everything you need to buy
- dorm and drill basics:
- Physical Training- changes constantly but I've found it encompasses exercises that work on endurance and strength training. Something I found on this other blog is they usually don't start you with PT until the first Saturday and that your 1st week and more average daily schedule will start on Sunday.
- Airman's Time- Your MTI will be less intense and more of a mentor so they are more available for you to ask them questions.
- Meals- Etiquette and movement in the chow hall.
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| Hand drawn on September 25th in my excitement and emotional process for Da Beast! |
September 27th is the start of Da Beast's first official week at Basic Military Training (referred to often as BMT). I'm just going to use this schedule and that's it. It's a pdf from the Air Force's site that breaks down every activity and requirement week by week so if you're interested you can click the link above for that. The good news about this week is days are starting to really follow a rhythm and routine that looks like this:
| 0445 | Reveille |
0500 | Formation |
0500-0600 | PT. One day you run, the next day you do aerobic exercises. |
0600-0615 | Breakfast. |
0630-0745 | Dorm setup. |
0800-1130 | Drilling, classes, record checks, shots, uniform issue, etc. |
1130-1230 | Lunch. |
1300-1700 | Classroom instruction. |
1700-1800 | Dinner. |
1900-2045 | Set up the dorm for nighttime. |
2100 (9pm) | Taps. Lights out. |
I got a blessing from my dad. It was really sweet and I started tearing up right after he said my name...in the very beginning of the blessing...and then I cried afterwards. The end is what really got me because he said something like ‘Heavenly Father is aware of your worries and struggles and he is by your side. It is okay to feel frustrated or sad or overwhelmed. It’s okay to share the feelings you keep to yourself with your family and to pray often for relief.” It was permission, love, and while he spoke I felt that, that’s what has been weighing on me. I feel like I haven’t “earned” my feelings. It’s been not even two weeks and I’ve already missed you, cried over you, and have serious attachments to receiving a letter from you. I feel like those who have been military wives for much longer and with husbands who have been deployed for a year have earned those feelings. So to get permission, in a sense, was a relief. The next thought that came to me was that it felt like the whole world was on my shoulders. My grandma Nerrings told me that’s because it was, I had my whole little world on my shoulders. I feel like I not only want to write you letters everyday but that I need to, to keep you uplifted and encouraged and with us while you’re there, I feel like I need to be as normal as possible for the kids, I feel like I need to be strong...but sometimes that little world gets heavy. After the blessing my grandma talked to me about her experiences of loneliness and the funny moments (that were not funny then) she had while in those times. It had always been nice to hear her stories but especially tonight I felt like we shared something: her past and my future were tied together and that felt nice.
When we got home I saw a letter from YOU and I was so excited and I thanked Heaven for this much needed boost for the weekend ahead and then when I opened it I was a little bummed because it was just your graduation letter that you probably sent like a week ago after your call...but it was something."
It had a bunch of links to follow and to get information from such as:
-United States Air Force Basic Military Training Facebook Page
( I also found a Facebook page for the 37th Training Wing-"the largest training wing in the United States Air Force. The Wing operates schools at nine locations throughout the United States with most of its training conducted at JBSA-Lackland. The Wing trains Airmen, Soldiers, Sailors, Marines, Coast Guardsmen, government agencies, coalition partners from over 100 countries and military working dogs." (Definition found here.)
- Basic Training Air Force Website Page
- The 37th Trainging Wing Air Force Website Page
- Flickr photos for Graduation Pictures from the Account Holder "Gateway Wing"
-YouTube Graduation Videos from the Account Holder "Gateway Wing"
This is the letter (that I've learned through my video watching) that get's sent after the scripted phone call with the address...which was about a week ago...so I guess I can expect the first real letter from Da Beast Next Friday? Speaking of which in two days he will be starting his official second week which is exciting!
10/03/2020
This past Wednesday the 30th of September I woke up from a dream that I then wrote Da Beast about but didn't think it was important enough to include in the blog post (I can't include EVERYTHING) but as of today and for the sake of good story order I'm going to provide a clip of my letter to him:
" It didn’t help that last night I had a dream that I missed two calls from you and when I called back you said something like “I can only give you a second to say goodbye” and so I quickly said “I love you! Bye” before you hung up and then I watched you run with your wing man to catch up to the rest of your flight...how I did that I have no idea but it WAS a dream."
Why is this clip now important today? Here is a clip from a letter I wrote him today:
"The day went alright in the morning. I was able to pay attention to the general conference for the most part and then when it ended I got up to make some lunch. When I sat down to eat I noticed I missed two calls from you and my heart sank. It was my 9/30/2020 dream that I told you about but in real life! Maybe I was being prepared for this but regardless it was awful. I was so mad afterwards because I feel like I failed you! In your voicemail you said you needed to hear my voice and after trying to keep my phone charged and near me at all times I still missed it because I was up making lunch and the TV was still on from the conference so I couldn’t hear it. It was still nice to be able to text you a little and later I found out you got to talk to your dad for a few minutes so that was probably for the best too, but it took me a little bit to be okay with it."
The story doesn't end there though which is really what makes this whole story incredible. After I had missed his call I was sad and then mad at everyone. I was mad at myself for not taking my phone with me for the two minutes I was in the kitchen, I was mad Da Beast didn't use his voicemail to tell me he was okay, I was mad that Heavenly Father didn't prompt me (or did he?! No! I didn't get ANYTHING like that!) When he knew how badly I needed/wanted to talk to Da Beast. After about an hour I calmed down and realized there was a reason. There had to be. I prayed to understand because I was confused. I really wanted to know. I really wanted to see His way, His reasons. That evening during the general women's conference I got the call from Da Beasts dad where he told me that Da Beast wanted him to tell us he loves us and he's okay. It felt nice to hear that and I thanked his dad. After I hung up the call I felt like that was why I didn't receive a prompting to look at my phone. The phone call wasn't for me, it was for his parents. This is what he wrote about the experience:
"My phone call home was not expected. Crell kept dangling it in front of us but I thought it would be next week at the earliest, (there are mandatory calls week 3 and 7 (I think) and then the MTI's can authorize two more calls but the length is based off of our flights behavior). I started getting emotional when I relaized why we were lining up the way we were. It's called roster accountability. [Rosters are like a holding number in line. It's the order in which each trainee receives, participates in something, or takes accountability.] I'm #6. ... We were [told we were] "lucky" we earned 5 minutes because the flight hasn't been doing well with following directions. ...I figured you phone was dead so I saw my dad on my phone just to at least reach someone. My mom walked in and I was able to talk to her too. I forgot to wish her Happy Birthday tomorrow. I was almost sobbing when I left you a voicemail. I hope you three could understan me. It's not because I'm super sad or miserable. Just, the thought of hearing your voice breaks me down [as well as] hearing our kids call me Daddy and their beautiful voices."
Again you'd think that the story is done there but it isn't...
WEEK TWO
10/06/2020
[Excerpt from letter sent to Da Beast]
"One major thing to note today was as I was doing the dishes your mom called me asking for help on how to send you a letter through Sandboxx. She then told me about her experience with your phone call on Saturday. She was prompted! She said that she had just left her home to head to Mesa when she felt very strongly to return home to get an item she forgot. Normally, she said, she would have just continued on and replaced it later but she felt a strong call home. When she got home dad frantically announced you were on the phone and handed her the phone so she could talk to you too. When mom told me this it was a confirmation to me that your call was not meant for me as much as we both would have liked it to be. Between my dream preparing me to miss the call, not understanding why I wasn't prompted to look at my phone, your mom and dad's experiences, and praying to understand what God's plan was in all this I knew that your call was meant for them and I'm blessed to have been a part of it and to 'see'. I love you!"
10/08/2020
Today we received a envelope stuffed full of letters which I've gone back in this blog and added his thoughts or experiences.
Opening those letters was better than Christmas.
I read the kids letters first and cried. Then Bubba cried and we hugged each other for a minute. After that, and while I read my letters, the kids wrote to their daddy while voicing out loud what they were writing.
It was so cute that I had to record a little bit of it. On Sunday the 11th he'll be starting his 3rd week and according to Dax's letter he's supposed to have a mandatory 15 minute phone call sometime next week. I’m trying not to make this blog too long but it seems like every moment has been precious and blessed!
10/10/2020
"I'm a road guard still. ...The vest makes me a target and I want to be fired so I don't have to do it anymore but I don't think going through the fire of being fired is worth it. So for now I stick with it."
"We went to the drill pad again today. What I really enjoyed about it was practicing our graduation with the entire squadron. . Seeing everyone raise their hand in taking the oath of enlistment, singing the Air Force Anthem, and repeating the Airmans Creed was amazing. There was also some marching and we also practiced passing around the Air Force coin that we get. Our MTI's pass them out while the "Star Spangled Banner" and "I'm Proud to be an American" play in the background. I was filled with pride and patriotism. I got chills from head to toe. I am so humbled to be here. I have a long ways to go before I am an Airman but I'm realizing more and more everyday that this was the right choice. I have no doubt this is where I'm supposed to be. I belong in the military. Sometimes I question whether or not I can handle it but then I improve. There are things I dreaded doing and now I actually enjoy it.
"I was looking forward to my phone call home all week. I was so excited. I'm glad they changed it to allow phone calls weekly to happen. I think it's more healthy for the trainees.
"As I was making the sandwiches my leg pressed against the cabinet and I realized my phone was buzzing and when I took it out of my pocket it was you! For the first split second I was in denial. I got over that quickly and answered with a ‘hello?’
"I really appreciate the tenderness in your voice. I don't know if you were even aware of it, but your voice was so soothing."
"and there was a pause before I heard you say “Megan?” oh my goodness it was SO nice to hear you in real time! I believe I said something like, “yes! Hi Dax!” and you let out a noise of relief and gratitude.
"Your voice was full of joy and it was comforting to me because it calmed my soul of worries."
"I quickly asked how you were still feeling a little in denial that this was happening or something. I think maybe I was dealing with surprise that it had really been a while since I heard your voice overlapping with the sense that no time had really passed that it was like any other call and then thinking that this is not any other call I only have a few minutes.You told me you were doing okay...
"I loved hearing my sweet babies voices. I thought it was funny that I was asked about lunch or "chow" but I'm assuming it's because you were just starting lunch yourself. But I loved it. Their voices were joy to my ears, though limited. But I was definitely fine talking to you."
...and we talked about the sub, wings, and chocolate milk you had for lunch, how your letters don’t actually arrive to you the day I see them signed off but a few days after that due to sorting, that you’re not a ‘load’ guard but a ‘road guard’. I still didn’t know what that meant. In fact I just now as I’m writing paused to look it up and it actually shows up as a thing and there's even a video from the AFROTC and some other one about what the road guard does. So that’s cool. We talked about a few more of my more recent letters but I didn’t want to use our time to go through all of that so I just referenced them. Like Friday the 9th, date night letter. You hadn’t gotten it yet so you didn’t read it Thursday like I had thought you would so we could be thinking about each other and “pretending” to look at the stars together on Friday so instead I just told you how rough of a week it was so it was a perfect night to go on a date with each other and how I wrote you about all of that. You said that I was amazing.
"I loved that you called me a rock star and that it was exciting that this was all actually happening."
"So by the time you get THIS letter you should have read Friday the 9th letters and know what I was talking about as well as the letter about missing your call which was before those letters. You also told me that they, the MTI’s, can actually give you time every week and it seemed like it was going to be a Saturday thing. I agreed with that adding “around lunch time” since that’s what I had been doing both times you called. So now I’m going to test out that theory and watch my phone like a hawk before I make lunch on Saturdays. . It was neat to hear a little of the background and the MTI timer. It was like a glimpse into your world even though I felt rushed. I felt like I should have answered the call more prepared with questions I wanted to know but I decided that letters were better for that. These calls are for ‘living in this moment’ even if they seem sloppy and rushed.
"It's amazing how much I looked forward to the call but I wasn't sure what to tell you about. It's not that I didn't know what to say but rather what to spend time talking about. We;'ll figure it out though."
"After we said our ‘goodbyes’ and ‘love yous’ I felt elated but then also doubted that that had really happened. It went so fast it was just a blur. Luckily this isn’t the 50’s-80’s and I have caller ID so there is proof that I got to talk to you.
WEEK THREE
10/11/2020
"We are required to study from our BMT Study guide at certain times. I'm writing now because my brain can't absorb anything more right now. Our church service has been short. Too short. There is a welcome video from the local branch president of the base and then we get only one talk. Still inspiring though. We cleaned our water bottles,
practiced weapons familiarization, had a class on being an Entrance Controller and now we are waiting for chow (dinner).
"Tomorrow is Columbus day so the MTI's don't work. It'll be a lot like today but we get to go to the mini mall. We can only get authorized items. We still can't get soda, candy, coffee, etc. I don't need much, but I look forward to going. I also get my OCP uniform this week, which I will be graduating in. Operation Combat Pattern (I think?)... I DO know that I do have beast week still, it's just shortened. No gas or overnight sleeping and I think we mostly demonstrate knowledge of weapons and the positions for holding a rifle like laying down, on the knee, and standing. Each position also has a correct way of bracing against something.
"These 2.5 weeks have really changed me for the better. I'm so grateful for what I've learned so far. I look forward to sharing all my experiences in person and incorporating teachings of Military into our life."
...AND that's the last letter I've gotten from him although another is coming in the mail but I guess that will just be in the next blog post. I thought about adding at least our side of things to wrap up this blog post right up until today but I really like seeing the letters and events side by side even though that's not how they come in real life. All our news is "behind". So to end I'll just add a little snippet of the letter I'll be sending to Da Beast tonight from yesterday's thoughts:
"I still can’t believe how watched out for I am. Every decision is being cradled in heaven's arms and guided by all of His angels. Nothing about this whole experience: the Airforce Wife, the temporary solo mom, the plasma donor, the independent and the dependent experience is anything like I expected but it’s all what I’ve needed. Along with my thinking last night (that I already told you) I was also thinking about our relationship after BMT. I feel like we might have to get to know each other again because the people we’re growing into will be different than the people we were before."
That's the thing about life. It never is exactly how we imagine it to be. I've been in awe this whole time because of how many calls we actually have been able to have (once a week on Saturdays- call times vary due to flight performance), how many letters I've been able to actually get, how much of Heaven's plan is in all of this and the angles He's sent our way, our struggles and the beauty we can still find in them, and how those lessons have manifested themselves. It's all been so much more than I imagined- more than just a military lifestyle being added into our lives, but our lives unfolding all their mysteries and learning more of who we really are and what we're really made of.
Till next month!
-Megan
Next Blog Post: Flying High
