Skies to Conquer

  4 months down, about 4 more to go! 

Let's start this post out with a few updates from the previous post, "The Skies are Not the Limit" where I answer a frequently asked questions to me and then we'll get to the rest of the post about being a "sky conqueror"...well maybe...I just thought it sounded cool. 

• Tech training for Da Beast's career in Cyber Transport Systems is broken down into three classes:     1.) IT Fundamentals                                                                                                                             2.) Cyber Transport Systems (a more in-depth version of fundamentals from our understanding)           3.) Security Plus 
• June 19th would then be the estimated graduation date from Tech school. 
• There are no specific timelines for each class.  Da Beast started his second class, Cyber Transport Systems, and they gave him an end date, BUT, only if all of his lessons and tests that he goes through at his own rate go in a timely manner. The neat thing about this process is they have a schedule laid out but you can complete each item as fast as you want or you can take a little more time if needed. The instructor goes around the room and basically is there to instruct where you (and others that are in the same section as you) on that material. When you feel ready you test on the material. If you don't pass you're given a yellow folder that just says you need to take it again. If you continue to fail they then try and teach you in another way that works for you based off of a test you take in the beginning of class on what teaching style you learn best from. If you're still struggling they reclassify you (give you a different job which may require a new tech school location and completion date), but that's not the point. The point is is they give you lots of opportunities to learn, test, and even some wiggle room on when to get things done. It's individual based learning and I think it's fantastic because, to me, it shows that everyone has a potential, it's just a matter of figuring out how you operate. SO because Da Beast started his second class on January 11th they are estimating that he should be finished with this second class by April 1st...and no it's not a fool's joke. This is his longest class of the three and as soon as he finished his Security+ certification (which can be completed in as little as a few weeks) it all depends on his location and report date.     
• He gets his first orders within the first few months He got his location and his reporting date is the end of May, of which we will not be disclosing at this point so be on the look out for that announcement! My guess was he was going to get his location the week of the 19th of January, with a more specific feeling on the 19th, and that we were going to go to Las Vegas, NV. I was right about the week, he found out on January 22nd, but I was wrong about the location! I'll give you a hint: we were pleasantly surprised at the fact that there is a '9' involved (Da Beast and my number since before we were married), AND, we both are excited about it and feel we're going to really enjoy this location. That is all.   

Regardless of what we think we may know or the unforeseen futuristic plans (or lack thereof) you can be sure we will continue to update you and let you know how it's going. 

What does it mean to be a conqueror? How do you know when you've conquered something? 

Just looking back on this past month from December 22nd- January 22nd, for me, I could say I didn't conquer anything. That I've just been dragged through it with metaphorical kicking and screaming. It's one of the reasons why I've pushed this post off a few days. 

What do I have to show from this past month? I fear the answer based off of the definition of conqueror (courtesy of Google), would be nothing. I have not overcome. I do not feel like a victor, winner, champion, hero, vanquisher, or defeater. If anything I feel defeated, deflated, demotivated. I looked at the New Year with dread filling up my heart and a lack of understanding as to why I felt this way and then continued to feel this way as the weeks were ticked off for January. 

The darkness was a strong surge around me pulling me closer every time I tried to break free, every moment I felt a little sanity return, every time the peace appeared to be there. This description actually reminds me of the new movie, "Soul" from Disney. I felt like a lost soul going through the motions or trying to force my way through my feelings and situations. I had forgotten what living felt like, the enjoyment found in little things, and the natural flow that for some reason can be difficult to tune into. When talking to my sister- friend, bonus sister, aka sister-in-law she said to me "it's probably because it's all now catching up to you. You've been doing this parenting thing alone now for months and that's rough". I told her that she was probably right. I've been trying to be bold, strong and maintain a level of happiness. She then asked if I felt like I had gotten used to doing things without Da Beast. I told her that I didn't think I'd ever get used to it, that of course I got this and I know I do and I've gotten into a routine, for sure, but being used to him not being here? No. I don't think I could ever get used to his absence. The question had taken me by surprise and definitely got me to thinking. This was not a matter of not knowing what I'm doing or that I  suddenly lost the ability to know how to do anything. This had to do with the fact that I'm tired of doing it the way I have been, that I'm tired of pushing through, that I'm tired of just maintaining and wishing for a different situation. I had lost the happiness of where I am and was focusing too much on where I used to be or where I want to be. To be asked this question had me thinking about my current situation from a different perspective than I currently was which was: I'm failing even if I'm not actually doing anything to fail at. I appreciate the time she took to listen and ask that question even when she herself was struggling with her own. 

I think when looking at the words "to conquer" we think it needs to be something "finished" or "accomplished" which is attainable short term, of course. However, if we look long term especially for emotional statuses, maturity, and health is it ever finished? Is there ever an end to development, learning, knowledge? Is there ever the true title of expert? If you answered, yes, I'd like to take you on my train of thought and have you look a little closer. In my opinion the answer to all these questions long term would be "no" because we are never done learning something new there is always something else. To conquer, as found in the lyrics of a song I just found looking up the definition of conqueror says: 

We all make mistakes

You might fall on your face

but you gotta get up!

We all make mistakes

You might fall on your face

don't ever give up. 

To be a "sky conqueror" means to take what I mentioned in my last post and not take "the sky's the limit" at face value. To go beyond the skies to the unlimited possibilities. To conquer is to keep going and never give up as in the famous and many versions of this basic quote, "You never fail until you stop trying" by Albert Einstein. To conquer is to take the little moments of victories and accomplishment no matter how small they may seem. For example this past month I have booked a flight to go see Da Beast, I've put the kids in an Active Playtime class for social interaction and exercise, I've noted down the times I've been seen by God, I've signed up for a new self reliance course  that the Church of Jesus Christ puts on called "Emotional Resilience", and I've tried to take special note of the moments of peace. 

The way's I've been seen by God I've had to really look out for because if I didn't I would have missed them: 

• Da Beast relayed a quote from one of his military leaders to “Never doubt in the dark what you know in the light”
• A dream... it was my birthday and everyone I had ever met/made an impact on in my life that that had ever made an impact on me were there to celebrate me and to silently let me know my acts were seen. There was such a large group of people I was constantly stunned and telling dream Da Beast that I couldn't believe it. When I was evaluating and relaying the dream to Da Beast later I realized that it was a little message to me to not discount myself and purpose here as we often do.
• Someone paying for my groceries
  
  
  
• My sister-in-law emailing me while on her mission on the same day someone paid for my groceries. I could've taken it as a coincidence but instead I saw physical angels taking the promptings and inspiration from a loving God and following through with it.
• A preacher at the farmers market smiled and said, "God bless you."
• Watching “Forgotten Carols” play recording with my family and finding new connections there.
• I saw a dove on my way to church which represents “deep peace to quiet a worried or troubled mind”.
  
  
  
• I saw a rainbow which can represent a sign of hope and a promise that better times are to come
  
  
  

And there was probably more that I forgot about or didn't even see.

Get creative. If you feel as though you have been all boxed up there are still ways through to freedom. It may look like making the box your temporary home, cutting windows in the box to let some light in, sticking your feet through the box to at least walk around with it, pop you head out of the box to see where you are going, or ripping the box to shreds and moving on. Whatever you plan to do with you box, regardless of how things may seem out of control, regardless of how high the sky may seem there is always a way out, you are in control, and there's always a way to reach the sky and beyond if you just start with something you may not have thought of before. Notice the small acts and be apart of the small acts and things will look a little brighter than they have before. Go Sky Conqueror, you got this, just keep going.

XOXO

Megan

Next Blog Post: They Gave Us Wings

      

The Skies are NOT the Limit

 3 months down, about 5 more to go! 

Now that Da Beast is in tech school the question I get most often is: "what's the plan, now?" To which I respond with a shrug and a smile and say: "well there's not much of a timeline but here is what I do know..."

• Tech training for Da Beast's career in Cyber Transport Systems is broken down into three classes:     1.) IT Fundamentals                                                                                                                             2.) Cyber Transport Systems (a more in-depth version of fundamentals from our understanding)           3.) Security Plus 
• On the site hyperlinked above for "Cyber Transport Systems" it says the Technical Training is 136 days which, from our understanding, is in class days. Class days are 5 days a week and do not include holidays or down days (not entirely sure what these are. Da Beast gets the day off from classes but if he has a job to preform he still must comply and also be there for accountability (attendance). Something like that, very similar to his weekends just an added day like a Friday to make it a three day weekend). So 136 divided by 5 is 27.2 weeks starting from November 30th when he started his first class. June 19th would then be the estimated graduation date from Tech school. Which means I added incorrectly the first time and will need to add a month to my countdown. 
• There are no specific timelines for each class (such as start and end dates) and since there are many rotating students and only a few teachers teaching many different classes we are assuming not all of that time is "class time", that sometimes there will be pauses where he will be on AFI (Awaiting Further Instruction) which is basically just whatever job they need you to do at the time like CQ (Charge of Quarters where you stand guard at entrances, do walking inspections, and make sure everyone is accounted for and well) or to do personal study in your dorm. Again, this is all from our understanding and experience as we are learning and may be different for others. 
• He gets his first orders within the first few months (this time varies based on how long the training is, the base you're currently at, etc.) but it could change up until his graduation day where he will have received his official orders and his date range of when he should be arriving to that base assignment. From what Da Beast hears from others is that if you get an assignment state side they get you out of the base faster than over seas but only if that base is ready for the Airman, otherwise you get to continue to do AFI at the current base until they're ready. Whenever those orders come in we'll be looking into housing at the base or in the area and preparing to move our family back together for about the next 3 years.
• Nothing is absolutely certain. Just like in normal everyday life nothing is set in stone. We can plan all we want but ultimately we float where the wind takes us. However, if we take the time to study the wind patterns and follow our internal compasses we can get glimpses of where it might be taking us. If there is anything I've been learning the most from all of this (and I'm sure I've mentioned it before) is to live a more intentional life, hone into my thoughts where inspiration lays, and constantly check in with God who knows all and can commune with my spirit. And then act upon it to the best of my ability and let the rest be. 

Regardless of what we think we may know or the unforeseen futuristic plans (or lack thereof) you can be sure we will continue to update you and let you know how it's going. 

SO...

As I mentioned in my previous blog post Da Beast started his first class November 30th. The children and I also embarked on our journey across the country to go see him for the first time in over two months! For the past few months I've been contemplating dates, transportation, driving routes, prices, and locations for stay and the moment I got to talk and call Da Beast more frequently the more focus I put on the process and made plans. The first week of December felt like the best decision and so did driving. I got some crazy looks and well meaning comments from others when they were notified of my plans and I just waited for someone to tell me not to do it. 

I was nervous to make the drive. I have never even traveled alone anywhere before and then adding two children into the mix AND driving?! I could see why others worried for me but it was my insecurity in it all that made me wait for someone to tell me how to live my life. 

How often have you stepped forward in the dark due to lack of experience? 

I feel like usually we have something from our past to tie to our present to make ourselves more comfortable in situations we're slightly uncomfortable with or we have a guide/ a mentor who has been there before to guide the way. But what happens if you've never before done anything like what you're about to do? There really isn't any past experience to relate to and there is no guide or mentor available whether that is because there isn't any or because it's the time to do it alone? That's how I felt before when this military journey officially began and that's how I had felt before this trip to see Da Beast. 

Sure there are things I found I could relate to/ other things I knew I could do: I knew I could drive, I knew I could drive in the car with the kids for 6-7 hours, I knew how to feed ourselves, I knew I could always ask for help, I knew how to be safe, I acquainted myself with the car and bought needed safety prep items, I promised to update others on my whereabouts, I looked over my drive route multiple times, I knew how to arrange a hotel stay, and I knew how to research. All of these were added together to create and official plan but as stated above I knew that it was just a plan and that the actual trip would look different and change as needed. 

Sure there were guides or mentors that came before me. I'm not the only one who is recording their military journey, I'm not the only one who's traveled across the country, I'm not the only one who drove her kids by herself (hi mom!), and I was offered help and alterations by others for sure. But I knew deep down that I needed to do this alone. I needed to let go of my net of fear loyally keeping me safe and I needed to go with my intuition and be guided by my faith. I needed to learn something about myself which I wasn't sure at the time what that could be. This was not only going to be a trip to see Da Beast but it was going to be a revelation to me. 

So we prepared, we planned, and November 30th we left. It felt weird to be completely in charge, to be the one who said "lets go" and then just get in the car with the children and start driving, and to be LIVING the very plans I had made. For the first third of our trip it was thrilling and smooth sailing. I planned to drive about 8 hours in total due to a stop in the middle at a park or bathroom breaks. We did just that and arrived at a rest stop just outside of El Paso. Yes, we slept at rest areas on the way there and it was the best minus the really cold nights. 

DAY ONE

We stopped just as the sun was setting, ate dinner, brushed our teeth and go the back of our Buick Enclave ready for the night. Since we were learning and doing it for the first time there were many adjustments that first night: child one didn't fall asleep for awhile and then had to pee, then child two woke up when child one was asleep having to pee, I wasn't comfortable in my current position so I had to move (tip: sleep with your head towards the back door and your feet through the seats if you have captain chairs (like we do) or you can put down the middle seat), and then I was freezing. I forgot my own blanket and toothpaste but my sweet son said I could use his toothpaste and his extra blanket he brought but I was still freezing. At about 2:30 am I couldn't take it any longer and decided to start driving so I could use the car heater and not kill the car. After a few hours I began to feel sleepy again and I pulled into another rest area at about 6 am (the time had changed), set up the car and fell asleep again. I would highly recommend staying at the Pecos West Rest Area whether you're going Eastbound or Westbound. We stayed there both ways. It was an amazing place to rest for a few hours and the bathrooms were inside this information center with clean bathrooms, vending machines and artwork! 

DAY TWO

At about 8am we woke up again, went to the bathroom, ate breakfast and went on our way for another seven and a half hours to just outside of Houston which already changed my plans. My plan was to stop at a rest area just outside of San Antonio and we did (to go to the bathroom) but because of my early morning drive we were able to drive a few hours farther and ended up at the Chamber's County Safety Rest Area. However I chose the westbound side on google maps which made me have to drive 7 minutes past the rest area and then back but I was tired and didn't care. We slept MUCH better that night. I would also recommend staying at the rest area just outside of San Antonio, the Guadalupe County Safety Rest Area as it is also a nice indoor bathroom/ museum and in normal circumstanced (meaning not during this COVID-19 Pandemic) they have a playground for the kids. There weren't many stops on the way to Houston other than bathroom breaks and I believe we stopped at a picnic area about halfway through to get out of the car for a bit and eat lunch, but that was all. 

DAY THREE

The last day of driving and it was only about a 6 hour drive (a bit more with stops)! And since we were driving though New Orleans we had to stop for lunch, right? So with very sweaty palms I traversed the streets of New Orleans looking for a highly rated restaurant Parkway Bakery and Tavern. I eventually found it but had forgotten the name of the restaurant and thought the parking lot was just a city parking lot so as I drove up I asked the attendant if "this is the only parking lot in the area". He asked me if I was "here for Parkway" to which I replied "no." He gave me a look of "aaaaannnnddd...what are you saying exactly?" to which I exasperatedly said that I was "lost and not from here." He asked me which restaurant I was looking for and when I looked it up I sheepishly grinned at him and told him that it was indeed Parkway. He smiled and told me "well you found it! Just pick a parking spot and go right in". I felt ridiculous which clued me in to one of the first things I needed to learn on this trip of discovery: get comfortable with being uncomfortable. There is a lot to be said on making mistakes and beating ourselves up over it. There is even more to be said about making mistakes and being okay with it. It's a normal thing to do. We ALL make mistakes and we can either stew about it or learn from it. I learned that while I was essentially made to drive across country on the freeway and I LOVED it, I was not meant to drive through the cities, at least not at this given time. It was a bit much for me. I also learned that it's better to roll with the uncomfortably and be embarrassed than to fear embarrassment and push back trying something for the fear of "doing it wrong" and wanting to "do it right the first time". Be prepared and well researched for sure, but don't wait too long to just jump right in. Experience is made from trying... not over thinking. And had I let my fear stop me and I just thought of ALL the scenarios that could have gone wrong and let THAT prevent me from going on this trip in the first place not only would I not have tried a shrimp Po Boy from New Orleans itself but I wouldn't have gone on the trip in the first place! Essentially I would have made myself miserable. Ha ha. From there we only had about an hour and a half of driving left and I was anxious to be there otherwise maybe we would've explored the city a bit more. We arrived in Biloxi, MS at about 4pm which was truly perfect timing because Da Beast got done with his class and everything else he needed to do at 4:30. So we checked into the hotel, showered, and drove to the base for our very first time! Lot's on firsts on this trip! Even though I had a military spouse card and they checked it and let me through I still felt like I wasn't supposed to be there! It took me a little while to find the building Da Beast told us to meet him at but eventually I did and we were all so happy to see him round the corner of the building in his uniform! The kids held nothing back and raced at their daddy who kept walking and refusing to acknowledge them because of what he had promised me. Thanks to the pandemic we were not allowed to attend his graduation and there was one part of it I was really looking forward to: tapping him out. In previous graduations at the end the Airmen stood at attention or at ease (I'm unsure of which, ha!) and then they would need to stand there until a family member "taps" them on the shoulder. Since I missed out I asked if he wouldn't mind doing that for me, and he did. I awkwardly tapped him out, hugged him, and kissed him. It was awkward because I felt like a fish out of water and I REALLY didn't want to unknowingly break any rules. 

For the next two days it was pretty much the same schedule. Da Beast had his class during the day so the kids and I explored Biloxi a little... 

Getting fudge, toys and magnets from Sharkheads Souvenir shop

Trying out Alligator at Snappers Seafood. Verdict: it good! Even the kids like it!

 

Had the beach right across the street from our hotel. We had it all to ourselves.

Took a little beach home with me.

Biloxi Beach

Biloxi Lighthouse 

We also just enjoyed lounging in the hotel and then come about 4:30 we would go onto the base and greet Da Beast, eat some dinner, roam the Base Exchange or Commissary, snuggle, hug, and watch movies in the back of the car. There was one time where we were driving around the runway and we had to stop next to flashing lights and a sign telling us not to drive any further when the lights were flashing because a plane was on the runway. It was super neat to watch! 

Saturday he didn't have any classes so we had the whole day with him. We got our continental breakfast from the hotel, he got his breakfast from the dining facility, and we met at a table behind the BX(base exchange) which soon became "our" table. From there we wandered the BX and commissary again where we met Santa Claus so the kids got to tell him what they wanted for Christmas.

We also got to play at the park on base.

 Later in the evening we drove around the housing there and looked at Christmas lights and listened to music sung by Josh Groban. He sings "I'll be Home For Christmas" and in this version there are excerpts from military members and their families and I pretty much cried the entire song. It was nice being there with him and still celebrating Christmas in our own way but it was hard thinking about the fact that it was a short moment and before long we'd be home and he wouldn't be home for Christmas. The words from Collabro's song Lighthouse that I mentioned before has been very comforting in these moments: "where ever I am, where ever you are is home". I even bought a lighthouse magnet that currently rests on Da Beasts lamp. 

On Sunday, our last day, we got to see Spider-man at the commissary but we spent most of our time in the car because it was cold. 

The morning wasn't so bad so we went for a little job around the track and took a bunch of photos of us to remember our time.

                                                 

In the late afternoon Da Beast had to go back to his dorm for a few hours for accountability and to clean his dorm. They also had to pick up trash because someone left their trash out the previous night by a fire pit, I believe, and so they all had to clean. We only had a few hours left and it just didn't sit right with us. The day was weird and cold and choppy so I told Da Beast that we were going to see him the next day even though we had to check out of our hotel and even though he had his class all day. 

DAY EIGHT

And that is just what we did. The kids and I woke up, got breakfast, hung out in the hotel room watching shows, I heated up some lunch, we checked out, we went onto the base, drove to the park, ate lunch, and then waited in the car since it was too cold outside. Come 4:30 we went and picked Da Beast up and spent one last evening with him very similar to all the previous evenings. At about 9pm we filled up with gas, dropped off Da Beast and said our goodbyes, and then began our drive home. We drove about 4 and a half hours before I couldn't drive anymore. We ended up at Sabine River Rest Area, went to the bathroom, got the car ready for bed, and then slept for the next four, four and a half hours. I woke up at about 6:30am and read my scriptures and watched the sunrise with Dax since we were awake at the same time. At about 7am I woke up the kids and then we went to the bathroom, got breakfast, and then hit the road again! 

DAY NINE

We drove another 3 hours 47 minutes all the way to Buc-ee's, a large gas station and convenient store. I was told by my mom about them and I saw them all throughout Eastern Texas along my drive to Mississippi. I even almost completely ran out of gas to do so because I really wanted to go check it out. There was one closer but I didn't want to stop only 2 hours after starting our drive, I didn't really need gas, and no one had to go to the bathroom. Besides driving to the Luling, TX location verses Katy Freeway location put us at lunch time and they supposedly had good BBQ pulled sandwiches. But that's not all they had in the convenience store! They also had salsas, candies, BBQ sauces, local honey, candied nuts, a whole line up of different foods, a home goods section, a toy section, merchandise, etc. Outside they also had gas station pumps and a car wash. It-was-huge! It was also super neat place to take our break, fuel up, go to the bathroom, and eat some lunch before heading on the road again. And of course we got a BBQ Brisket sandwich to share, some BBQ sauce, honey, and some toys while we were there too. 

After Buc-ee's things got changed around a bit so I'm unsure of exactly where I had first planned to stop for the night but it was still relatively early in the day so we just ate dinner, used the bathroom, and then drove a few more hours before we officially stopped for the night. However, my navigation for the rest area I was looking for took us on a service road which led to no where but slightly up ahead I could see a rest area but there was no connection from the service road to the rest area off the freeway. So I jumped to curb, parked, we brushed our teeth, got the car ready for bed, and then slept for the next 6 hours until I couldn't sleep any longer. 

DAY TEN         

I woke up at 2am, freezing, and when I checked the weather app it was indeed below freezing outside! 28 degrees! So I woke the kids up, we froze our bums off trying to go to the bathroom, then got back in the car and drove a few more hours until we made it to Peco's West Rest Area again and slept a few more hours. After we woke up officially for the day, went to the bathroom, and ate breakfast I was determined to make it all the way home and not spend another night in the car even though we still had about another 9 hour drive. We drove for long periods of time only stopping for gas or to go to the bathroom. And we did it! We pulled up into familiar territory but feeling strange after having so much scenery change in a relatively short period of time. We unloaded a few things from the car, I made dinner while the children played and then we got ready for bed just like we used to do, as if nothing had changed. 

Sure nothing physical had really changed from our trip: everything looked the same, our routine was getting back to the same, our apartment was just as we left it, everyone around us was to be the same...but there was a lot of mental and emotional change. On the drive there I was tense and constantly questioning my decisions but on the way home I was much more confident and determined. I felt as though I didn't just feel more confident but I also could see myself more like how others have told me they have seen me. It was relieving to know that I was a good mom to my children, to know I could take care of them, to know we make a really good team. It was nice to day dream with them, discuss weird things like how many dead animals were on the side of the road, and to play. It was intriguing to see how I figured out problems when they arose such as loosing Bubba's shoe at a rest area and having him just wear my socks while for the rest of the trip there until we found a wal-mart where we bought him new shoes. It was a revelatory trip that is difficult to fully explain because the work was all internal and rather subtle but I could see the difference in myself.  It was getting comfortable with the unplanned, embarrassing, and silly-looking because that's just how it had to be for the time and knowing that is was just for a time. 

Since we've been back from our trip I've been asked many times how it's gone and all I can say is "it was amazing. The only thing I'd change would be to have brought something to keep us more warm." We had an amazing time and then had to readjust to being apart once again. Emotions were a bit all over the place for the next few weeks and trying to play catch-up with Christmas planning- which seemed to all go all over the place: broken orders,

 missing order, orders coming after Christmas, plan B's, juggling social events, being there for Da Beast, serving others, last minute pick-up orders, items unavailable for orders. However, even through all of that I would see little glimpses of heaven looking out for us: secret Santa's delivering gifts almost every night secretively (very similar to when this happened for our family back in 2017 which you can read here if you missed it);

 a box delivered to us from Da Beast's mom on the very day I found out some items were not available for my order. In the box from my mother-in-law there were very similar items as those that were unavailable for the order; when we went to donate clothes and water to a local charity they gifted us with a few gifts and fresh flowers; Da Beast got his gift in the mail just before Christmas...and there were probably even more that were unnoticed.

In the end all was well: the 23rd we went through a giant drive thru of lights with my family, Christmas Eve we ate good food with my family, opened up our families gifts just to each other, and when we got home the kids went to bed and Santa used his magic key to get inside, eat the goodies, and leave out the gifts and stockings for the kids. Come Christmas morning the kids were so excited to open their gifts that they just about forgot they were hungry for breakfast. I made them wait until they were done eating and when their daddy was ready to Facetime for present opening. When the living room became satisfactorily messy we made some breakfast foods for lunch and drove to spend the afternoon with Da Beast's siblings, and then the evening with my family again which was dinner and games! Some of our favorite gifts to give and receive were: 

• Brightboxes made it nice and easy to send our Airman a gift to open on Christmas
• Beyond Romance by Ralph Lauren was a new found fragrance that I fell in love with and Da Beast ordered for me using the BX website to send it to me. 
• Sharper Image Remote control fighting Robots  was a replacement gift from Santa since the one Bubba asked him for was broken. 
• Cuteitos have been a slight obsession around here for awhile and were gifted to both kids from grandparents. Baby also loved her Peek-A-Boo elephant made by Playright and distributed by Walgreens but I couldn't find online. She got it from her Papa. 

We enjoyed all gifts given, of course, but just in case you're looking for some ideas yourself, these have been the most used the past few days by us. The day was full of mixed emotions but it was a very good Christmas all the same. 

Overall this past month has been an experience of looking beyond what we already know and see. What if everyone had only lived by the motto "the skys the limit"? What if no one thought "what could be beyond the sky"? It was risky business to go and explore space. It had never been done before. Even when it had been done before it was still a new concept that was only recently acted upon after much study and research. They literally had to step out into the darkness and unknown and because of those risks came greater rewards. There are many times where we not only limit ourselves on where we are but we grow comfortable with the idea that "this must be it, this must be all, I have learned enough". That is living within the motto of "the skys the limit". We LIMIT ourselves and when our lives become mundane or terrifying because of our risks we've taken or seen and then we try to limit others- make them believe that there is only sky to be had when in fact a whole universe is in front of them. If I had only stayed with what I could see or rely on I wouldn't have gained the confidence with which I so badly needed and still need to work on. I will always need to learn something new, to go beyond what I understand with as much research and experience from myself or others as I can fit under my belt, and to explore some undiscovered aspect of my life. God gives me the compass through it all. I may not be able to see the destinations I will be traveling to but I will be able to feel out how to get there. God will give me directions along the way and others to help me up when I've fallen or to guide me if I've been lost. I just need to be open for the adventure. To be open with embarrassment, mistakes, adjustments, detours, and plan 'b's when it all seems to be going wrong. I must have the desire to see beyond the skies. The sky's not the limit for you either. If no one has ever told you this let me tell you: you have the whole universe ahead of you, you just have to be brave enough to explore it. Because the skies not the limit. 

Merry Christmas,

Megan     

Next Blog Post: Skies to Conquer                               

Flying High

 Last blog post we left off in week three so it's only fitting we start there:

WEEK THREE

October 11th-October 17th 

10/11/2020

HER

Today is Sunday, so the start of your third week. Can you believe by the time you actually get this letter

you’ll be about or slightly over half way? Crazy. I feel like things were kind of slow but everyday since you

left I’ve been busy and/or not left alone which I am also grateful for and the days may feel long (especially

the letter receiving day) but the weeks are flying.

10/12/2020

HIM

Last night I was on EC duty (entrance controller). It can be an intense job during the day but this shift

started at 2000 (8pm) and ended at 2200 (10pm). Lights out at 2100 plunged the world in darkness. My

cheap battery light died so I couldn’t read like usual. 

I had the hour to kill so I decided to play a movie in my head. Well the only movie I’d say I know well enough for that is the Princess Bride. I replaced the actors with you and I for the beginning of the book part of the movie.

10/14/2020

HER

Today was a wild frenzy of making sure I was drinking enough, eating enough, getting to my families on time, getting to my appointment on time to donate plasma, peeing quickly, answering the questions before being tested, testing my blood with a finger prick for protein and iron levels and all that and for nothing. I had too high of blood pressure to donate today. I guess there was one positive...I was wearing the dark Air Force shirt and the lady at the counter told me the Air Force rocks and how her husband was in the Air Force. I told her (very proudly mind you) that you were in your third week at BMT. She then again told me that the Air Force is the best and I felt like you were with me. :) Also the guy you was drawing the blood and all that (I’m pretty sure) was a name I recognized from a family members name. I drove back to my family's house disappointed where I finished reading your letter-a surprise I got in the mail this morning before my appointment. I was confused and wondering what lesson I had to learn from not being able to do today's appointment but it wasn’t as clear as the first time I got it canceled on me (when you called) but the next day (10/15) I figured it out when I went for another appointment which all went beautifully! Both my pinkies are now sore from testing my blood yesterday (10/14) and then again today(10/15) and I have a hole in my right arm but I’m happy! I did it! And I even got a little teary as I donated because this was meant for someone. I was helping someone. I am fortunate enough to be able to do this and I had the courage to greet my fears. I am so incredibly proud of myself and my body! The lesson I learned? I’m learning about ‘ME’. I’ve learned how to notice my body more and when it is dehydrated vs hydrated. I can feel it in my veins. I’ve learned that my emotional wounds will get tied into just about anything and will open up again but that doesn’t mean I lost my progress, it’s a part of it. And then yesterday and today I learned that I rush through life and put an unnecessary strain on my body. It’s okay to get things done and even more okay to do things on time but they don’t have to be ‘rushed’.

10/15/2020

HIM

Guess what I was issued today? My blues and my OCP (occupational camouflage pattern). 

They started by fitting us with jackets, like a suit jacket, followed by colored short and long sleeve shirts,

light weather jackets, and then a heavier weather jacket, almost like a trench coat. It’s impressive because

they stand us in a line and as we walk into the room they size us up within literally two seconds. So I

walked through for my jacket and she says “40L” so that’s what I found on the rack and it fits perfectly.

At least the way they want it to fit. They did this for everything and had to make only slight adjustments.

Then a man sized us up for slacks. I’m a 35” long. To him at least. I thought it was way too baggy but,

oh well. In the waist I mean. Then we walked around the corner and up onto a stand where these ladies

fitted the legs of the pants to fall exactly where they needed to when wearing our low quarters- the shiny

black shoes. They marked them and within the hour all 39 of us had our pants sized to the correct length.

They can do it that fast. I haven’t worn the entire thing together. It was always a combination of PT gear and blues. After it was all done and stuffed into our duffel bag, which is an awesome bag by the way, then we moved onto the OCP. There were originally two camo patterns. There are the OCP and then a blue-grey pattern that was camo but had a different fit. I think I prefer those but the Air Force recently stopped issuing them during basic. Lackland is a joint operation so they have Navy, Army, and Marines here as well. They wanted everyone to start looking the same. 

We are one military but different branches. 

So they fit us with our pants, once again a bit too big in the waist but the size down was too small. They guy just said, “well you were issued a belt right? You know how to use one?” Which of course I do but with a wide waist fit makes the legs wider too which just makes everything else look baggy. Oh well. It is what it is for now. I can get them fitted in tech school. So pants, shirts(coats, because we have shirts underneath) then second cap issue, gloves, and finally boots. It was pretty cool to see that our boots were Goretex. I got to tell a couple of guys what Goretex was. Most of them thought Goretex was just a type of boot insert or brand. I love wearing the OCP, despite it’s bagginess on me. We got to wear them for dinner chow and it was fantastic. So much better then wearing the physical training gear all the time. It was the first time I felt like I was in the military. Marching to and from chow with all of the facing movements, saluting, and everything else is just better. We’ll see how I feel when I’m wearing my “blues”.

10/16/2020

HIM

I want to make sure I write this down for you because right now the last I heard I get 1 minute on Saturday. There is an app called “Aim High” where you can search by flight and see pictures of us. I know I’ve had a few taken. There may also be a website. Another Trainee told me about it so I’m not sure about the accuracy of this information, but, photographers have been floating around since the beginning and I know there are a few taken like I said. I’m surprised they haven’t told us anything about it. The MTI’s act like they don’t see them. Which is probably by design.

And, hey, guess what?! I’m no longer a chow runner! When we form up for chow, right after we are sized up which there is a whole process for that, the dorm chief or an MTI will yell, “chow runners, GO!” and we then echo as loud as possible. Then the two chow runners quickly fall out after relying, “Proceeding sir/ma’am”. So when another Trainee and I fell out and we were heading to the door our MTI said, “I don’t want to see anymore of your faces. We need new chow runners.” So I did it one last time and am a free man. Though by the end it wasn't so bad. I just had a really bad start to it all.

Something else I did on Wednesday was go with probably half the flight to a briefing for my specific job. We had a very large group so we didn’t even really get to the actual processing part. They sat us in a room to explain our jobs, write down what we were told, and then they explained what we still needed to do. They told me that I needed an interview even though I already had an interview and a follow up interview but there are two different databases and sometimes they don't correspond well. Since I didn't really do much I'll find out more when they call us back again.

10/17/2020

HER

Luckily there was nothing really going on today because I was really tired and antsy. You know since it’s Saturday and I was hoping that the Saturday call pattern continued. We did wake up and get to the farmers market early for our vegetable box and then we went to the park with our Relief Society President again. Then we went home and I made lunch and ate it and no call from you. Your past two calls were at 11:17 and 11:24 our time. Once it was past 11:30 I started to become very bummed and then I remembered how I was just talking to Bubba about being happy for what he got. When we were leaving for the park Bubba and I decided to not bring our water bottles but Baby wanted to. She was prepared because both Bubba and I were thirsty after the park. Baby was nice enough to share a drink but then she was done sharing. Bubba was upset and telling Baby she was mean. I told him that she didn’t “have” to share. She made the choice to bring her water, “we” didn’t so now we are learning that it’s a good idea to bring our water bottles next time. She decided to give him another drink but apparently it was “just a drop” and he was upset again. I went over with him again that she didn’t “have” to share, that she did all the right things. She shared even when she didn’t have to, she brought her water bottle, and she set up her boundaries to make sure she got the water she brought. Bubba and I were learning from her and from our experience and now we know we should ALWAYS bring our water bottles. Then he was mad at her and when I asked him “for what?! She did everything right?” he was just on repeat. I tried to tell him that I thought he was mad at himself but he wouldn’t take it. Then when we got home he complained about the amount of Gatorade I gave him. “Couldn’t you just be happy for what you did get?!” I asked and here I was upset that I didn’t get a call. Shouldn’t I just be happy for the letter I got that morning?” I prayed for forgiveness. Letting that go was hard but I did. Then I fell asleep and napped off and on on the rug when “Off we go” started blasting! At first I thought it was an alarm (like I told you on the phone) but I quickly woke up and realized it was YOU! At 1:20pm our time. I was so excited to hear you! I felt like our call this time was much more business like this time. We talked about your ballot coming in the mail, money transferred and withdrawn from the account, “blood money” (because of donating plasma) , our letters we’ve written or that are coming, you talked to the distracted children, and we were even quiet for a minute. Like we didn’t know what to talk about. I just liked being on the phone with you but it felt like a waste to not talk about “something”. I even remember thinking “who even are we anymore?” But not in a negative tone, more contemplative. I think it’s because this alternative lifestyle has “settled” and now it’s time to redefine what this means. The thing is it’s too temporary to define just yet. I was super excited to learn that there were pictures of you and that you got your uniform!

10/17/2020

HIM

This morning for PT was our 3rd week of training test. 1.5 mile run, push ups, and sit ups. 

I shaved off two minutes of my run time, but I still have to get better. My push ups improved but my sit ups

were somehow worse. I’ve asked to get help with my run so we’ll see what happens. Then we rushed off

to the showers and then breakfast. WE were rushed through that so we could make beds and do details

(clean) which we do twice a day. Then we headed out for more graduation practice. It was nice outside.

Since getting up it was cloudy with more of a heavy mist than rain. I was trying really hard to practice my

discipline. We had to stand completely still for about 20 minutes. I breathed in the rainy air and imagines

little kisses on my face. We had some study time and then we were picked out for bearing and discipline.

I missed my reporting statement which I instantly knew I did but I at least knew the answer to the question

I was asked. I just answered too quickly. Then I was able to call you. The sound of your voice is more

wonderful than anything, of any sound, I could hear here. 

I don’t want to speak but just hear your voice.