It's Time

It's been a few months but now it's time.

If there is one thing I'd like you to know about the overall consistency of this blog it's that I write when I feel the topic has bubbled up, baked, and is ready to serve. This may give the blog an inconsistency. I myself have been disappointed from the disrupted perfection of posting once a month. Perhaps one year I will get twelve in a row but this year isn't one of them and I have come to accept that because through contemplating the "why no post" these past few months I've come to the conclusion that the topic I needed to write about next just wasn't ready yet. Now that "it's time" it doesn't mean that it is a completely understood topic, at least by me, it just means that I'm ready to share what I do know.

Now that I've summed up my whole blog in one paragraph lets get into the past few months review and then the actual topic: Support Vs. Love. I'll go ahead and bold each section of the blog so you can scroll down to whatever you wish to read about.

OCTOBER

October was the start of a very weird time for us. Between Baby getting sick September 27th, to finding out Wednesday September 29th that she was exposed to COVID-19 from a fellow Sunbeam September 26th, and to having to get our whole family tested for COVID-19 October 1st. To say we started off October with "a bang" would be an understatement.

For the first two weeks of October we primarily stayed at home as ordered to do so until we got the results back. During that time we had General Conference, had our conference camp-out

where we roasted marsh-mellows and played with Melissa and Doug Outdoor adventure toys, and then basically played Minecraft and watched TV shows while we all went crazy but none of the rest of us got sick. Then on October 12th Da Beast had his first day back. We had gotten the negative results back and we were allowed to go back to our normal routines and finally get out of the house. Little did we know that that afternoon we'd be rushed out of our house by a fire on base near the housing complexes. 

We ended up sitting in a parking lot for a business on base while the kids played in the grass finding sticks and using their imaginations while we waited for the "o.k." to return back home. We sat there for about 2.5 hours or until the rest of Da Beasts work day. For the next week and a half we just worked on getting back into our routine of home school and work and I also added in some Halloween themed anatomy posts on my yoga Instagram account Story Telling Yoga with Megan:

    October 22nd was our first real event on base that we went to. It was a trunk or treat where we dressed up, drove to the neighborhood center, collected candy, and then voted for the best decorated Halloween trunk we saw. 

After that all of our holiday festivities began. 

On October 23rd we went to Bishops Pumpkin Farm.

There we bought some tickets to the events they had from riding the carousel 

To panning for marbles 

To riding the train around the farm

To watching the Olypigs:

to picking our own sunflowers,

 eating barbecue, drinking fresh apple cider, picking out the best pumpkin,

 and bringing home some pumpkin muffins and the memories of the best fall day in 2021. On October 29th we had our Ward Truck or Treat where we ate hot dogs and a bag of chips that reminded me of a Halloween a long time ago...

and if you notice a few pictures up on our on base trunk or treat Baby is wearing the same clown outfit.  This picture on the left is my first trick or treating experience and out of a whole pumpkin-head-bucket of candy I wanted the potato chips. This clown costume also used to be my moms so that three generation of little clowns for Halloween. This year instead of actually going around and getting the candy the kids just wanted to hang out at the balloon animal table and then we went home.

November

For November we celebrated Cookie Monsters birthday on November 2nd with a giant cookie, vanilla ice cream, and some natural blue food coloring.

On November 6th we went to Caloma, CA for a Pioneer day which loaded with crafts, activities and knowledge from different cultures and backgrounds. It was so much fun to make our own bricks, rope, cloth dolls and to get to taste homemade dutch oven bread with honey butter and bbq. We got to learn about early settlers, gold panners, different sizes of barrels they would carry on ships, pickling limes, and the toys they would entertain themselves with. We got to listen to a band play music and then as we were leaving we realized we missed a whole section of the state park events! Oh well maybe next year! ;)

Most of my month's energies were spent on gearing up for Christmas out of state and posting everyday on the Instagram account  above something to be grateful for that went along with some yogic words of wisdom I was reviewing/learning. 

On November 11th was the last picture I really took for the month and it was for Yuba Counties Veterans Day parade. We met three nice older ladies that made sure our children went home with LOT's of the leftover Halloween candy that was thrown from those in the parade. Afterwards we went to a local sandwich shop called Aj's Sandwiches which made very delicious sandwiches. On November 16th we celebrated National Fast Food day by going to another local restaurant known as Elkin's Frosty. We got some pretty decent hamburgers and their oreo frosty was very tasty.  On November 17th I went to my first relief society activity where I talked about similar topics as my blog posts "A Friend indeed" and "You Are Enough". The day after I got sick and then for the following week the whole family was sick. We were lucky enough to feel better in time for our travels down to Universal Studios and then to our end goal where our family all was for Thanksgiving. The trip went by way too fast but it was nice to see family, to spend all that time together, to learn new things, to support each other, and to remember how far we've all come. 

SUPPORT VS. LOVE

It was on our Thanksgiving trip that I had a really good conversation with my mom that made me really think about the lesson I must be learning because I didn't feel anything specific to blog about. It must be a lesson much broader than a day by day, week by week or even a month by month kind of lesson. This lesson had to be a major one I've been learning all year.

I first started picking at the pieces of the topic and I'm still figuring it out but I’m pretty sure this year's theme has been the whole “Support VS. Love” dilemma. There is a popular saying in religion to “love the person but not the sin”. Something felt off about that saying but it’s been the easiest to explain MY OWN PERSONAL INTERNAL DILEMMA.

Personal internal dilemmas are created when our belief is challenged by an outside circumstance. If we are faced with a circumstance that we felt unprepared for or don't know much about our initial reaction might be to declare it as incorrect. What if instead we trained ourselves to shift that initial reaction to one of curiosity? There is a sense of magic and wonder on the opposite side of the coin from fear and ignorance when we enter the unknown and undiscovered. We can turn our fear into wonder and our judgement into understanding if we are brave enough to venture into the world unknown to ourselves. Especially the world we thought we knew completely but are now being challenged to revisit to either change our direction or solidify it. Luckily there are those experienced in this unknown, after all they are the very people we disagreed with in the first place.

When first writing this blog it was at 2am a few days ago when I couldn't sleep because the blog was writing itself in random pieces that I now have to put together. It wasn't until today when I took a step back and observed the year as a whole that I realized I've been learning this for awhile. This breakthrough is what I needed to bring all the random pieces together. Or at least I hope that I can. 

When we say "Love the person not the sin" I feel like what the statement said in ignorance is saying is to only accept parts of who someone is. A few months ago this became very personal to my own self discovery because for years I've felt like I wasn't seen and loved as a whole. I've said things like "what if who I really am no one likes? Because the real me is a real jerk?" It made me feel like I was living three separate identies. 1.) The face you know me as 2.) The Mr. Hyde "real" me I was a terribly afraid of was true and 3.) The peaceful, calm, confident, caring, joyful, intermediary, playful, creative, story-teller, and God fearing woman I saw myself desiring to be more of. I could see her, I wanted to be her, but I felt like the other "me's" got in the way. I was on a search for people to see the complete me and I know I'm not the only one. 

It is terribly uncomfortable to face others who only accept bits of you. I think that’s why many of us are on the search to find those who accept everything and it is a relief; even if we know what we are doing doesn’t necessarily line up completely with our purpose (because we’re still trying to figure that out ourselves through trying and eliminating); but to know that this one person or group of people accept us even through our misshapen discoveries makes us comfortable  enough with time to let the things that really aren’t US, go.

We feel accepted. 

Acceptance, or support,  is oftentimes mistakenly connected to love. There is this idea that people need to earn or deserve love or that it has to line up with our beliefs. That is our misunderstanding, our ignorance, our fear to not learn more about the circumstances around us. What we are really saying is not "my love has conditions" but "what if my belief ends up being a lie? What if I learn that my belief was wrong? What if my belief changes?" We are SO UNCOMFORTABLE with that idea that we want to PRETEND that the circumstance doesn't exist. And then we put out our boundaries and conditions in the name of love. What we don't realize is that it won't ever "go away". We essentially have three options to choose from when presented with a challenging circumstance:

a.) Go into it; meaning to participate in the acts. 

b.) Go out of it; meaning to disregard it's existence. 

Or

c.) Accept it; meaning to question it's purpose for the intent purposes of gaining understanding and grounding on belief. 

 Regardless of what we choose we will keep being prodded by new circumstances with the same choices to make: learn now or learn later. This is to refine our lives. If we are so afraid of our beliefs being changed by external circumstances is our belief really as complete as we thought? I don't believe so. I believe this is the exact reason why it needs to be challenged. By being challenged we draw closer to our pure potential if we choose to learn from it verses run from it.    

So what is real acceptance? 

In my opinion, because this is my blog where I express those, we truly accept someone when we can lend our support to them by asking questions to gain understanding verses to use against them as proof that their way is wrong and ours is right. With the right amount of curiosity we can accept a belief contrary to our own without having to disregard it or participate in it. Or if the circumstance is presented to correct our direction to our purpose we can be open to accepting it and all the discomfort of disregarding what we feel like we've built our whole identity on. We can mourn our past existence and we can bring with us the bits that are our more rooted beliefs that have already gone through refinement and that still serve us. By following through in this way we can stay steady on our own course of action, our own purpose, while honoring those who are following their own path. By accepting them wholly we then have also accepted ourselves completely. 

This is the meaning of the word "namaste", "The divine light in me bows to the divine light in you." To do this there is a level of understanding, there is no one side trying to convince the other. 

Of course there will be consequence to action. We see this all over the place in life with many different names. In the yoga world alone it goes by many names such as Karma and dharma. When our tendencies are inconsistent, problematic, or strays to far from the truth Dharma is then presented as different situations offering similar choices we struggle to make. Dharma helps to iron out the karma and our karma cultivates our next dharma. This push and pull between dharma and karma is known as Lila; the divine reminder of our specific purpose and path we often forget we are on, also known as avidya (ignorance of our true nature or having an attachment to the illusions of life). 

Regardless of what name it goes by when we are presented with a choice to make there will be a consequence. Either we will draw closer to our divine purpose and the choices will become easier and more clear to make or we will face it another day through a similar situation. Either way we will face the consequences of the choices we make each day. 

Because this is so versatile and uniquely  made up for each individual we cannot say one way or another on another persons choices whether they are right or wrong, they just are. We are each here to combat our own karmas by going through our dharmas which connect at many different points and at different times with those in our lives. The karma of another may ignite our own karma but that doesn't mean that they have to continue down the path of your own karma, they have their own to finish! Two may share the same dharma with different things to learn from it. What is does mean is that you have the opportunity to address your karma. You take responsibility for your part, you accept the situation (or dharma) by asking questions to understand, you communicate clearly each role played, and then you move through your own karma. In the end you should end up with a slightly more clear understanding of your purpose and path in life, at least one small aspect of it. This is why everything is a teacher. We have constant learning opportunities but are we being persuaded to follow whatever comes our way with no real direction? Are we avoiding it because it is painful in one way or another? Or are we accepting it as it is and letting it work in our lives for our good and the good around us?

This is why one of the greatest commandments is to "love one another". If we learn to accept wholly we learn to love completely. No one has to hide parts of who they are, no one has to seek acceptance elsewhere, and no one is alone. When love increases, hurt decreases, and great healing comes forth.

"Education is the difference between wishing you could help other people and being able to help them." - President Russell M. Nelson,  "What will you Choose", Church Educational System Devotional, BYU Hawaii  

XOXO

Megan