5 months down, about 3 more to go!
Let's Review:
- Tech training for Da Beast's career in Cyber Transport Systems is broken down into three classes: 1.) IT Fundamentals 2.) Cyber Transport Systems (a more in-depth version of fundamentals from our understanding) 3.) Security Plus
- Da Beast is still in his second class which he started on January 11th and is estimated to be finished by April 1st.
- Da Beast has his duty assignment as previously mentioned in the last post "Skies to Conquer" but we have yet to disclose where we will be moving to once Da Beast is done with all his classes and gets his orders. The difference between an "assignment" and "orders" is the assignment is basic information and details on where and when to report. This assignment sheet is then coupled with (but not often received at the same time) with a to-do list known as the short sheet which describes all that needs to be done now that the assignment has been given. These to-do items include things such as briefings for the Airman to attend that outline things such as what your short sheet means for you, who your sponsor is for your new base, leave (time off), TMO (Traffic Management Office) which is a fancy way of saying what you need, get, and are responsible for when you're moving, and medical/dental out processing, which means he gets all checked out before leaving. This one usually doesn't happen till a few weeks before you leave and once you have your orders. Which brings me to the orders!
- Da Beast has received his orders. This is a more official document of the assignment. It basically relays the same information as the assignment sheet but 'orders' are used very similar to an important document such as a passport for overseas or like providing another form of "identification" for the medical/dental appointments and can use it for transportation from one base to another for a more smooth transfer.
So we thought we'd play a little game.
We, Da Beast and I, have collected a bunch of tid-bits and facts about where we will be stationed come the end of May, his report date being May 31st. Then we'll see if you readers can guess where it is! Ready?!
- It's on the list that we submitted of the top 8 land places we'd like to get sent to. That means it's either: Vandenburg, CA; Beale. CA ; Nellis, NV; Peterson, CO; Schriever, CO; McChord, WA; Hill, UT; Macdill, FL. There was also a separate list for overseas locations we'd like to go but the only bases we put on their were the ones for Hawaii.
- If you remember from the last blog post I mentioned that my guess was it was going to be in Nevada but I was wrong so you can mark that one off the list.
- I also mentioned in my last post that it has the number nine in it which is Da Beast and my number since we were dating. I can't include anything else about this because it's a dead giveaway.
- There is a book written about what happened with this base during the cold war.
- It's within an hour away from a states capitol.
- Da Beast's soon-to-be squadron symbol involves a Greek letter.
- This Squadron was activated on May 1st 1949.
- This base is 23,000 acres of land and it's not even the biggest Air Force base. That title goes to Eglin AFB! But we're not going to Eglin. Because of the size of our assigned base there are 5 gates/ entry points which operate at different hours so it can be difficult to find and navigate the base.
- This base is located in the state which is considered to have the most military bases in the United States.
For now let's talk about what it means to be "given wings".
Before a caterpillar
can live out it's dream to fly,
it must face the predators
that factor out not how they live,
but how they die.
Next it walks step by step,
a tasty leaf to find,
but if the tree has scarcity,
it may feel life's unkind.
But should it go and preserver
and grow up over time
a silk pad must it create
to attach itself to the vine.
The final step this creature takes
might seem the easiest of them all
a nice warm spot to rest,
it seems the efforts small.
But zoom in on the process
observing what it must do,
this tiny larva must shed it's skin
of all it thought it knew.
It forces all it off
only to form a chrysalis
the once viewed form of shelter
feels like somethings a miss.
The caterpillar wiggles
confined in it's small space
only with it's thoughts
it may seem it's a hopeless case.
It may think, "didn't I let this go?"
"The trials that troubled me?"
"Didn't I run far away?"
"to avoid adversity?"
"Didn't I struggle long enough?"
"And worked my hardest here?"
"Shouldn't I be resting now?"
"But I'm just consumed by fear."
It may wonder,
if it'll get it's wings someday.
To soar throughout the sky,
a freedom, if it may.
But what the tiny caterpillar
may not be able to see,
is the kindest of another
that protects and lets it be.
Then one day
when it's found it's time,
it wiggles and breaks free,
the wings become unfolded,
"the wings they gave to me."
It see's all the others,
to help it continue on,
the mother with her life,
the one who shared her son.
The one who gave some of his leaf
to fill the caterpillars stomach
the one that stood by it's side
to make sure it didn't plummet.
The caterpillar now flies away
off towards it's new found purpose,
with challenges for it still to find,
but now it knows its worth it.
If you've kept up with my other blogs or have talked to me in person, you know that January has been my very own chrysalis. I've been shedding off old ways of thinking and learning through the lessons life has been given to me over the past four years. I've been helped and supported by many and I've been encompassed by the love of Heaven on multiple occasions. All of this continuing to layer itself to where I've come and who I've become. None of it's been easy but I kept going because I felt like I was achieving something great. Then this past month (plus) I felt encased in it all. Old thinking patterns returned, old mistakes surfaced, guilt and anger consumed me, and I felt suffocated and trapped in my own head, with brief moments of fresh air. I felt like I was going around in circles, just chasing after my own tail and then last night I broke through and this morning I woke up with a two words on repeat in my mind:
Fragmented Reality.
So I looked it up and when I saw the topic I was going to write about in the blog today I thought it was perfect. Fragmented reality is when you envision your reality that you're living as something entirely different than what you're actually living. This came to me because I had had enough with the dependency I've had on technology but specifically my phone. Everything is on there so conveniently.
Now, I've been frustrated with my dependency on my phone before and wanting to have freedom from it but not seeing how that was possible when that's how I communicate with others, that's where my calendar and camera are, that's where I store all my notes, etc etc. A few weeks ago I even wrote out a list of all the phone app substitutions I'd have to have to give up my phone:
Texting: writing a personal letter or waiting to call
Call: Bluetooth handset for cell phones
Face to Face Apps:(where possible) see in person
Recipes: recipe book/tablet in kitchen
Internet: computer set up
Photos: hand held camera with SD card
Videos: camera with video capabilities
Electronic Notes/ reminders: paper & lament/ 👩💻
Reading apps: library/physical book copies
Finance: computer
Maps: GPS
Email: computer
Music/You Tube: Alexa/ CD player/ computer
Shopping app: mail ads/ shop in person/local
Scripture app: physical scriptures
Calendar: physical calendar
Calculator: physical calculator
Obviously not all of this is exactly logical or sound, it was after all a quick jot down of thoughts, but the idea was to figure out what things I COULD swap to live a more intentional and free-flowing life. I did nothing but it had given me the thought of the driving force behind my dependency: the difference between immediate gratification and suspense gratification, which I could write a whole other blog post on but I'll focus on how it pertains to fragmented reality before I REALLY get off on a tangent.
Basically because of this thinking to be "immediately" available to share my life or observe others living on social media, "immediately" available to respond to text messages, "immediately" gratified by capturing the moment and other seemingly "important" apps, my dependency was created and a very different chrysalis was formed. This dependency and chrysalis had me believing that's what my reality was.
However, when I turned off my phone, vowing to not turn it on until I had specific phone calls or when I'm going out I felt the spreading of my wings and the freedom that came with that.
But my mind hadn't caught up yet.
This morning when my mind was in between asleep and awake it began conjuring up scenarios or things that I should look up "really quick" and that's when I really woke up. Metaphorically and realistically. My mind was so used to living within the confines of this fragmented reality that when it was gone it was still coming up with altered realities! This only confirmed to me how powerfully trained I had become.
And the really interesting thing?
It took another mistake to get me here. To get me to actually do something about it.
Often times we are afraid of our mistakes, the possibility of failure, and the embarrassment and humility that comes with it.
But really our mistakes, our failures, what embarrasses or humiliates us are just more opportunities to learn something about ourselves and set up necessary boundaries with ourselves or others. My mistake inspired and motivated me to achieve something greater that what I was seeing around me in this "reality". The confines of my personal chrysalis made up of all my shed past accompanied by all the support from others in my life and the atonement of Christ gave me my wings.
Does that mean I'm free from adversity?
Free from trial and tribulation?
No.
But I'm looking around from a different height and a new perspective.
And I know it's all worth it and it's all going to be worth it.
xoxo
-Megan
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