The Skies are NOT the Limit

 3 months down, about 5 more to go! 

Now that Da Beast is in tech school the question I get most often is: "what's the plan, now?" To which I respond with a shrug and a smile and say: "well there's not much of a timeline but here is what I do know..."

• Tech training for Da Beast's career in Cyber Transport Systems is broken down into three classes:     1.) IT Fundamentals                                                                                                                             2.) Cyber Transport Systems (a more in-depth version of fundamentals from our understanding)           3.) Security Plus 
• On the site hyperlinked above for "Cyber Transport Systems" it says the Technical Training is 136 days which, from our understanding, is in class days. Class days are 5 days a week and do not include holidays or down days (not entirely sure what these are. Da Beast gets the day off from classes but if he has a job to preform he still must comply and also be there for accountability (attendance). Something like that, very similar to his weekends just an added day like a Friday to make it a three day weekend). So 136 divided by 5 is 27.2 weeks starting from November 30th when he started his first class. June 19th would then be the estimated graduation date from Tech school. Which means I added incorrectly the first time and will need to add a month to my countdown. 
• There are no specific timelines for each class (such as start and end dates) and since there are many rotating students and only a few teachers teaching many different classes we are assuming not all of that time is "class time", that sometimes there will be pauses where he will be on AFI (Awaiting Further Instruction) which is basically just whatever job they need you to do at the time like CQ (Charge of Quarters where you stand guard at entrances, do walking inspections, and make sure everyone is accounted for and well) or to do personal study in your dorm. Again, this is all from our understanding and experience as we are learning and may be different for others. 
• He gets his first orders within the first few months (this time varies based on how long the training is, the base you're currently at, etc.) but it could change up until his graduation day where he will have received his official orders and his date range of when he should be arriving to that base assignment. From what Da Beast hears from others is that if you get an assignment state side they get you out of the base faster than over seas but only if that base is ready for the Airman, otherwise you get to continue to do AFI at the current base until they're ready. Whenever those orders come in we'll be looking into housing at the base or in the area and preparing to move our family back together for about the next 3 years.
• Nothing is absolutely certain. Just like in normal everyday life nothing is set in stone. We can plan all we want but ultimately we float where the wind takes us. However, if we take the time to study the wind patterns and follow our internal compasses we can get glimpses of where it might be taking us. If there is anything I've been learning the most from all of this (and I'm sure I've mentioned it before) is to live a more intentional life, hone into my thoughts where inspiration lays, and constantly check in with God who knows all and can commune with my spirit. And then act upon it to the best of my ability and let the rest be. 

Regardless of what we think we may know or the unforeseen futuristic plans (or lack thereof) you can be sure we will continue to update you and let you know how it's going. 

SO...

As I mentioned in my previous blog post Da Beast started his first class November 30th. The children and I also embarked on our journey across the country to go see him for the first time in over two months! For the past few months I've been contemplating dates, transportation, driving routes, prices, and locations for stay and the moment I got to talk and call Da Beast more frequently the more focus I put on the process and made plans. The first week of December felt like the best decision and so did driving. I got some crazy looks and well meaning comments from others when they were notified of my plans and I just waited for someone to tell me not to do it. 

I was nervous to make the drive. I have never even traveled alone anywhere before and then adding two children into the mix AND driving?! I could see why others worried for me but it was my insecurity in it all that made me wait for someone to tell me how to live my life. 

How often have you stepped forward in the dark due to lack of experience? 

I feel like usually we have something from our past to tie to our present to make ourselves more comfortable in situations we're slightly uncomfortable with or we have a guide/ a mentor who has been there before to guide the way. But what happens if you've never before done anything like what you're about to do? There really isn't any past experience to relate to and there is no guide or mentor available whether that is because there isn't any or because it's the time to do it alone? That's how I felt before when this military journey officially began and that's how I had felt before this trip to see Da Beast. 

Sure there are things I found I could relate to/ other things I knew I could do: I knew I could drive, I knew I could drive in the car with the kids for 6-7 hours, I knew how to feed ourselves, I knew I could always ask for help, I knew how to be safe, I acquainted myself with the car and bought needed safety prep items, I promised to update others on my whereabouts, I looked over my drive route multiple times, I knew how to arrange a hotel stay, and I knew how to research. All of these were added together to create and official plan but as stated above I knew that it was just a plan and that the actual trip would look different and change as needed. 

Sure there were guides or mentors that came before me. I'm not the only one who is recording their military journey, I'm not the only one who's traveled across the country, I'm not the only one who drove her kids by herself (hi mom!), and I was offered help and alterations by others for sure. But I knew deep down that I needed to do this alone. I needed to let go of my net of fear loyally keeping me safe and I needed to go with my intuition and be guided by my faith. I needed to learn something about myself which I wasn't sure at the time what that could be. This was not only going to be a trip to see Da Beast but it was going to be a revelation to me. 

So we prepared, we planned, and November 30th we left. It felt weird to be completely in charge, to be the one who said "lets go" and then just get in the car with the children and start driving, and to be LIVING the very plans I had made. For the first third of our trip it was thrilling and smooth sailing. I planned to drive about 8 hours in total due to a stop in the middle at a park or bathroom breaks. We did just that and arrived at a rest stop just outside of El Paso. Yes, we slept at rest areas on the way there and it was the best minus the really cold nights. 

DAY ONE

We stopped just as the sun was setting, ate dinner, brushed our teeth and go the back of our Buick Enclave ready for the night. Since we were learning and doing it for the first time there were many adjustments that first night: child one didn't fall asleep for awhile and then had to pee, then child two woke up when child one was asleep having to pee, I wasn't comfortable in my current position so I had to move (tip: sleep with your head towards the back door and your feet through the seats if you have captain chairs (like we do) or you can put down the middle seat), and then I was freezing. I forgot my own blanket and toothpaste but my sweet son said I could use his toothpaste and his extra blanket he brought but I was still freezing. At about 2:30 am I couldn't take it any longer and decided to start driving so I could use the car heater and not kill the car. After a few hours I began to feel sleepy again and I pulled into another rest area at about 6 am (the time had changed), set up the car and fell asleep again. I would highly recommend staying at the Pecos West Rest Area whether you're going Eastbound or Westbound. We stayed there both ways. It was an amazing place to rest for a few hours and the bathrooms were inside this information center with clean bathrooms, vending machines and artwork! 

DAY TWO

At about 8am we woke up again, went to the bathroom, ate breakfast and went on our way for another seven and a half hours to just outside of Houston which already changed my plans. My plan was to stop at a rest area just outside of San Antonio and we did (to go to the bathroom) but because of my early morning drive we were able to drive a few hours farther and ended up at the Chamber's County Safety Rest Area. However I chose the westbound side on google maps which made me have to drive 7 minutes past the rest area and then back but I was tired and didn't care. We slept MUCH better that night. I would also recommend staying at the rest area just outside of San Antonio, the Guadalupe County Safety Rest Area as it is also a nice indoor bathroom/ museum and in normal circumstanced (meaning not during this COVID-19 Pandemic) they have a playground for the kids. There weren't many stops on the way to Houston other than bathroom breaks and I believe we stopped at a picnic area about halfway through to get out of the car for a bit and eat lunch, but that was all. 

DAY THREE

The last day of driving and it was only about a 6 hour drive (a bit more with stops)! And since we were driving though New Orleans we had to stop for lunch, right? So with very sweaty palms I traversed the streets of New Orleans looking for a highly rated restaurant Parkway Bakery and Tavern. I eventually found it but had forgotten the name of the restaurant and thought the parking lot was just a city parking lot so as I drove up I asked the attendant if "this is the only parking lot in the area". He asked me if I was "here for Parkway" to which I replied "no." He gave me a look of "aaaaannnnddd...what are you saying exactly?" to which I exasperatedly said that I was "lost and not from here." He asked me which restaurant I was looking for and when I looked it up I sheepishly grinned at him and told him that it was indeed Parkway. He smiled and told me "well you found it! Just pick a parking spot and go right in". I felt ridiculous which clued me in to one of the first things I needed to learn on this trip of discovery: get comfortable with being uncomfortable. There is a lot to be said on making mistakes and beating ourselves up over it. There is even more to be said about making mistakes and being okay with it. It's a normal thing to do. We ALL make mistakes and we can either stew about it or learn from it. I learned that while I was essentially made to drive across country on the freeway and I LOVED it, I was not meant to drive through the cities, at least not at this given time. It was a bit much for me. I also learned that it's better to roll with the uncomfortably and be embarrassed than to fear embarrassment and push back trying something for the fear of "doing it wrong" and wanting to "do it right the first time". Be prepared and well researched for sure, but don't wait too long to just jump right in. Experience is made from trying... not over thinking. And had I let my fear stop me and I just thought of ALL the scenarios that could have gone wrong and let THAT prevent me from going on this trip in the first place not only would I not have tried a shrimp Po Boy from New Orleans itself but I wouldn't have gone on the trip in the first place! Essentially I would have made myself miserable. Ha ha. From there we only had about an hour and a half of driving left and I was anxious to be there otherwise maybe we would've explored the city a bit more. We arrived in Biloxi, MS at about 4pm which was truly perfect timing because Da Beast got done with his class and everything else he needed to do at 4:30. So we checked into the hotel, showered, and drove to the base for our very first time! Lot's on firsts on this trip! Even though I had a military spouse card and they checked it and let me through I still felt like I wasn't supposed to be there! It took me a little while to find the building Da Beast told us to meet him at but eventually I did and we were all so happy to see him round the corner of the building in his uniform! The kids held nothing back and raced at their daddy who kept walking and refusing to acknowledge them because of what he had promised me. Thanks to the pandemic we were not allowed to attend his graduation and there was one part of it I was really looking forward to: tapping him out. In previous graduations at the end the Airmen stood at attention or at ease (I'm unsure of which, ha!) and then they would need to stand there until a family member "taps" them on the shoulder. Since I missed out I asked if he wouldn't mind doing that for me, and he did. I awkwardly tapped him out, hugged him, and kissed him. It was awkward because I felt like a fish out of water and I REALLY didn't want to unknowingly break any rules. 

For the next two days it was pretty much the same schedule. Da Beast had his class during the day so the kids and I explored Biloxi a little... 

Getting fudge, toys and magnets from Sharkheads Souvenir shop

Trying out Alligator at Snappers Seafood. Verdict: it good! Even the kids like it!

 

Had the beach right across the street from our hotel. We had it all to ourselves.

Took a little beach home with me.

Biloxi Beach

Biloxi Lighthouse 

We also just enjoyed lounging in the hotel and then come about 4:30 we would go onto the base and greet Da Beast, eat some dinner, roam the Base Exchange or Commissary, snuggle, hug, and watch movies in the back of the car. There was one time where we were driving around the runway and we had to stop next to flashing lights and a sign telling us not to drive any further when the lights were flashing because a plane was on the runway. It was super neat to watch! 

Saturday he didn't have any classes so we had the whole day with him. We got our continental breakfast from the hotel, he got his breakfast from the dining facility, and we met at a table behind the BX(base exchange) which soon became "our" table. From there we wandered the BX and commissary again where we met Santa Claus so the kids got to tell him what they wanted for Christmas.

We also got to play at the park on base.

 Later in the evening we drove around the housing there and looked at Christmas lights and listened to music sung by Josh Groban. He sings "I'll be Home For Christmas" and in this version there are excerpts from military members and their families and I pretty much cried the entire song. It was nice being there with him and still celebrating Christmas in our own way but it was hard thinking about the fact that it was a short moment and before long we'd be home and he wouldn't be home for Christmas. The words from Collabro's song Lighthouse that I mentioned before has been very comforting in these moments: "where ever I am, where ever you are is home". I even bought a lighthouse magnet that currently rests on Da Beasts lamp. 

On Sunday, our last day, we got to see Spider-man at the commissary but we spent most of our time in the car because it was cold. 

The morning wasn't so bad so we went for a little job around the track and took a bunch of photos of us to remember our time.

                                                 

In the late afternoon Da Beast had to go back to his dorm for a few hours for accountability and to clean his dorm. They also had to pick up trash because someone left their trash out the previous night by a fire pit, I believe, and so they all had to clean. We only had a few hours left and it just didn't sit right with us. The day was weird and cold and choppy so I told Da Beast that we were going to see him the next day even though we had to check out of our hotel and even though he had his class all day. 

DAY EIGHT

And that is just what we did. The kids and I woke up, got breakfast, hung out in the hotel room watching shows, I heated up some lunch, we checked out, we went onto the base, drove to the park, ate lunch, and then waited in the car since it was too cold outside. Come 4:30 we went and picked Da Beast up and spent one last evening with him very similar to all the previous evenings. At about 9pm we filled up with gas, dropped off Da Beast and said our goodbyes, and then began our drive home. We drove about 4 and a half hours before I couldn't drive anymore. We ended up at Sabine River Rest Area, went to the bathroom, got the car ready for bed, and then slept for the next four, four and a half hours. I woke up at about 6:30am and read my scriptures and watched the sunrise with Dax since we were awake at the same time. At about 7am I woke up the kids and then we went to the bathroom, got breakfast, and then hit the road again! 

DAY NINE

We drove another 3 hours 47 minutes all the way to Buc-ee's, a large gas station and convenient store. I was told by my mom about them and I saw them all throughout Eastern Texas along my drive to Mississippi. I even almost completely ran out of gas to do so because I really wanted to go check it out. There was one closer but I didn't want to stop only 2 hours after starting our drive, I didn't really need gas, and no one had to go to the bathroom. Besides driving to the Luling, TX location verses Katy Freeway location put us at lunch time and they supposedly had good BBQ pulled sandwiches. But that's not all they had in the convenience store! They also had salsas, candies, BBQ sauces, local honey, candied nuts, a whole line up of different foods, a home goods section, a toy section, merchandise, etc. Outside they also had gas station pumps and a car wash. It-was-huge! It was also super neat place to take our break, fuel up, go to the bathroom, and eat some lunch before heading on the road again. And of course we got a BBQ Brisket sandwich to share, some BBQ sauce, honey, and some toys while we were there too. 

After Buc-ee's things got changed around a bit so I'm unsure of exactly where I had first planned to stop for the night but it was still relatively early in the day so we just ate dinner, used the bathroom, and then drove a few more hours before we officially stopped for the night. However, my navigation for the rest area I was looking for took us on a service road which led to no where but slightly up ahead I could see a rest area but there was no connection from the service road to the rest area off the freeway. So I jumped to curb, parked, we brushed our teeth, got the car ready for bed, and then slept for the next 6 hours until I couldn't sleep any longer. 

DAY TEN         

I woke up at 2am, freezing, and when I checked the weather app it was indeed below freezing outside! 28 degrees! So I woke the kids up, we froze our bums off trying to go to the bathroom, then got back in the car and drove a few more hours until we made it to Peco's West Rest Area again and slept a few more hours. After we woke up officially for the day, went to the bathroom, and ate breakfast I was determined to make it all the way home and not spend another night in the car even though we still had about another 9 hour drive. We drove for long periods of time only stopping for gas or to go to the bathroom. And we did it! We pulled up into familiar territory but feeling strange after having so much scenery change in a relatively short period of time. We unloaded a few things from the car, I made dinner while the children played and then we got ready for bed just like we used to do, as if nothing had changed. 

Sure nothing physical had really changed from our trip: everything looked the same, our routine was getting back to the same, our apartment was just as we left it, everyone around us was to be the same...but there was a lot of mental and emotional change. On the drive there I was tense and constantly questioning my decisions but on the way home I was much more confident and determined. I felt as though I didn't just feel more confident but I also could see myself more like how others have told me they have seen me. It was relieving to know that I was a good mom to my children, to know I could take care of them, to know we make a really good team. It was nice to day dream with them, discuss weird things like how many dead animals were on the side of the road, and to play. It was intriguing to see how I figured out problems when they arose such as loosing Bubba's shoe at a rest area and having him just wear my socks while for the rest of the trip there until we found a wal-mart where we bought him new shoes. It was a revelatory trip that is difficult to fully explain because the work was all internal and rather subtle but I could see the difference in myself.  It was getting comfortable with the unplanned, embarrassing, and silly-looking because that's just how it had to be for the time and knowing that is was just for a time. 

Since we've been back from our trip I've been asked many times how it's gone and all I can say is "it was amazing. The only thing I'd change would be to have brought something to keep us more warm." We had an amazing time and then had to readjust to being apart once again. Emotions were a bit all over the place for the next few weeks and trying to play catch-up with Christmas planning- which seemed to all go all over the place: broken orders,

 missing order, orders coming after Christmas, plan B's, juggling social events, being there for Da Beast, serving others, last minute pick-up orders, items unavailable for orders. However, even through all of that I would see little glimpses of heaven looking out for us: secret Santa's delivering gifts almost every night secretively (very similar to when this happened for our family back in 2017 which you can read here if you missed it);

 a box delivered to us from Da Beast's mom on the very day I found out some items were not available for my order. In the box from my mother-in-law there were very similar items as those that were unavailable for the order; when we went to donate clothes and water to a local charity they gifted us with a few gifts and fresh flowers; Da Beast got his gift in the mail just before Christmas...and there were probably even more that were unnoticed.

In the end all was well: the 23rd we went through a giant drive thru of lights with my family, Christmas Eve we ate good food with my family, opened up our families gifts just to each other, and when we got home the kids went to bed and Santa used his magic key to get inside, eat the goodies, and leave out the gifts and stockings for the kids. Come Christmas morning the kids were so excited to open their gifts that they just about forgot they were hungry for breakfast. I made them wait until they were done eating and when their daddy was ready to Facetime for present opening. When the living room became satisfactorily messy we made some breakfast foods for lunch and drove to spend the afternoon with Da Beast's siblings, and then the evening with my family again which was dinner and games! Some of our favorite gifts to give and receive were: 

• Brightboxes made it nice and easy to send our Airman a gift to open on Christmas
• Beyond Romance by Ralph Lauren was a new found fragrance that I fell in love with and Da Beast ordered for me using the BX website to send it to me. 
• Sharper Image Remote control fighting Robots  was a replacement gift from Santa since the one Bubba asked him for was broken. 
• Cuteitos have been a slight obsession around here for awhile and were gifted to both kids from grandparents. Baby also loved her Peek-A-Boo elephant made by Playright and distributed by Walgreens but I couldn't find online. She got it from her Papa. 

We enjoyed all gifts given, of course, but just in case you're looking for some ideas yourself, these have been the most used the past few days by us. The day was full of mixed emotions but it was a very good Christmas all the same. 

Overall this past month has been an experience of looking beyond what we already know and see. What if everyone had only lived by the motto "the skys the limit"? What if no one thought "what could be beyond the sky"? It was risky business to go and explore space. It had never been done before. Even when it had been done before it was still a new concept that was only recently acted upon after much study and research. They literally had to step out into the darkness and unknown and because of those risks came greater rewards. There are many times where we not only limit ourselves on where we are but we grow comfortable with the idea that "this must be it, this must be all, I have learned enough". That is living within the motto of "the skys the limit". We LIMIT ourselves and when our lives become mundane or terrifying because of our risks we've taken or seen and then we try to limit others- make them believe that there is only sky to be had when in fact a whole universe is in front of them. If I had only stayed with what I could see or rely on I wouldn't have gained the confidence with which I so badly needed and still need to work on. I will always need to learn something new, to go beyond what I understand with as much research and experience from myself or others as I can fit under my belt, and to explore some undiscovered aspect of my life. God gives me the compass through it all. I may not be able to see the destinations I will be traveling to but I will be able to feel out how to get there. God will give me directions along the way and others to help me up when I've fallen or to guide me if I've been lost. I just need to be open for the adventure. To be open with embarrassment, mistakes, adjustments, detours, and plan 'b's when it all seems to be going wrong. I must have the desire to see beyond the skies. The sky's not the limit for you either. If no one has ever told you this let me tell you: you have the whole universe ahead of you, you just have to be brave enough to explore it. Because the skies not the limit. 

Merry Christmas,

Megan     

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