I was inspired to write about this topic while I've been noticing certain topics in my own life coming up and teaching me and then as I write them on this blog. Then I realized there have been about 5 main contributors that have helped me to notice what I am learning about. Having that outlook of learning "something" has REALLY helped me with feeling anxious or angry about troubling times in my life right now so let's do this:
- Look at the people around you. There will always be a person that comes your way full of things you need to hear. It may not be right away, they may be learning the same lesson as you, and they may only be in your life for that moment or lesson that you needed to learn but as you really try to listen, understand, and find commonalities with each person you interact with you WILL learn something. You might not even want to hear what they have to say, but be careful of this as that could very well be your life lesson flagging you down.
"You will find the things you least want to hear can help you grow the most"
-Isha Judd
2. Study in the meantime. Sometimes there will be a lengthy bit of time (or at least it will feel lengthy) where you feel like a lesson isn't coming or that you're not learning anything and it can be frustrating (especially once you start recognizing these life lessons). It may be you still have something to learn from the previous lesson that you thought you were done with and/or you're not quite ready to let the next lesson in, because let's be real, life lessons aren't all "ah ha" moments. They're also uncomfortable and even hard to accept. If you find yourself stuck, try and look at anything and everything you might be avoiding due to keeping up appearances with others, your own ideals and wants, and topics that cause you to feel strong emotions. In most there in lies your life lesson. Life lessons aren't there to make you feel better about yourself, at first, but to evaluate yourself and help you to be better at feeling. Some ways that I study in the meantime are to pray, read/listen to scriptures, reading, being aware of the people around me, being aware of my own actions and reactions to work on, and being active both physically and in what I am learning about like writing it down on this blog and in my journals.
3. Be "vulnerable". I put this in quotations because I DON'T mean let everyone and everything walk all over you. What I DO mean is to be humble, objective or unbiased, and trusting. It's a harder to learn a subject when you go into a scenario loaded with personal feelings, opinions, and/or being defensive. It's not impossible but it is harder. My suggestion is to come together in harmony with you having your own ideas, feelings, opinions AND that you don't know everything. This is where other people can become pretty important in life lessons- everyone has their own journey to make. We all have the same beginning and same ending but how we go from our beginning to our physical end all depends on what life lessons you let come into your life to help you grow and to leave the world a slightly better place than when you arrived.
4. Welcome Experiences. Opportunities, events, meetings, or other experiences will be presented to you throughout your life. If the situation arises and you feel that pull towards it, go for it, no matter how scary it might seem.
"Always go with the choice that scares you the most,
because that is the one that is going to help you grow"
-Caroline Myss
I'd like to add that along with going with what scares you the most it's also good to do things you don't necessarily want to do, because through it you will grow but you may also find what things are important to you, you just had to work for it.
5. Serving yourself and serving others. First, draw close to God; Second, fill your heart with a love for others; Third, try and walk the path of a disciple of Jesus Christ; Fourth, share what is in your heart; and Fifth, trust the Lord to work His miracles. (See: Missionary Work: Sharing What is in Your Heart by Elder Dieter F. Uchtdorf).
"It may be that your Christlike response to rejection a hardened heart could be softened"
- Elder Dieter F. Uchtdorf
It's important to put God first so that we can be inspired with the answers we are looking for. When you follow His direction and commandments "then had thy peace been as a river, and thy righteousness as the waves of the sea." (1 Nephi 20: 6-10 & 18). Something I've been contemplating for a few years is "how can I take care of myself and others at the same time?" I've learned a few tricks and aspects that contributed to the answer to that question over time but never a full answer until recently. I've learned to have fun while we do the work we need to, to think outside the box and incorporate my children into my exercising by thinking of it more as "movement" than "routine", and to take myself on timeouts and breaks when I've needed them. All of these were good ways of "coping" but they still never fixed the separation of "serving others" and "self care" that I had in my mind. For most of my life they have been separate. I take care of me then I take care of you. I zone in on the things I like to do and then I move on. Then I got married and had kids and everything reversed for me. I take care of you then I take care of me. I do everything I have to and then if I have time I'll zone in on what I want to do, because everything I like to do deserves my concentration. I felt unhappy because I didn't know how to do BOTH. If I took care of myself I felt guilty for not taking care of my husband, my children, and my house let alone other people! Through studying the scriptures and putting God first in my life I was able to find the answer that bridged that gap in my mind and allows me to complete the other 4 suggestions that Elder Uchtdorf presented in his general conference talk. The important thing is to contemplate what serving others AND yourself means to you and to study the scriptures and to turn to God and you'll find your answer. Due to the length of this post already I'll write more about the "How to Serve others AND You" in my next post if you're interested in what my answer was!
Good luck on your journey and I hope these 5 ways will help you learn your purpose as you go!
XOXO
Megan
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