I've been busy this past month of April with trips, a birthday, and our house was put on the market so there has been a ton of showings coming along; but mostly I believe I've been avoiding writing about this subject. It was something I thought I had learned a few months ago and just haven't figured out what the new lesson was yet, but that wasn't the case.
I am currently still learning (and will learn more about in the future I'm sure) how to fail.
In fact this years "motto" for myself is "Success isn't made without mistakes".
I have always been a perfectionist border-lining OCD which makes failure extremely personal. Failure is challenging for everyone. Failure is something most (if not a great percentage) of the worlds population tries to avoid, including myself. I've been known to go out of my way to avoid situations I THINK might happen. I sit and agonize over the many possible situations before entering and many times missing my opportunity all together because I wrestled with what to say or do.
...Sometimes I don't even try...
There are a ton of quotes out there that talk about how "The only Failure is Not Trying," (Robin S. Sharma). So what's stopping us from enveloping failure? Fear plays a big role in not accepting our own failures.
But Failure IS apart of the plan!
We came here as spirits to be tested using the temptations and limitations of the body. Building a reliance on God and having faith in His plan can redirect us in all the challenge, confusion, sorrow, and especially failure of life. A lot of times we turn to people, especially those close to us, with our problems wanting them to fix it or to tell us the direction we should go. Sometimes ,even ,we might see someone who appears to "know it all" and just go with what they say because it makes sense or is easier. While these people can be good advisers and God does influence us through others, our first plan of action would be to ask our Father in Heaven so that he can set us in the right path. This has been happening to me a lot lately but isn't new. I've gone through my life rarely making decisions for myself based off of fear of failure and/or what others have said. Don't get me wrong: I've had a pretty good life, albeit challenging like everyone else's, but I've been led to where I've needed to go and I'm okay with that. Sometimes I'll even wait for someone else to have come to the same decision I have to KNOW it's the right direction to go before heading that way because two is better than one, right? My point is, is that as great, kind, and intelligent as those around us may be (and it's important to have those people in our lives because they keep us from making really bad decisions) it is of even greater benefit to be constantly tuning into God, constantly aligning our will with His because HE KNOWS ALL.
During these past few months I've been actually holding strong, having hope and faith, continuing to move forward with as upbeat attitude as I can muster because of my relationship with Heavenly Father I've been fostering over the past few years. I KNOW he is taking care of my family and I and we WILL be where we need to be when this trial and challenge is complete. My core knowledge is strong but my outer influence has left me wavering on choices, questioning answers received, and all around dejected. As uncomfortable and difficult as lessons in failure may be the question is, "Where do you go from here?" Take it out on your family? Blame and shame others? Quit?
NO! You continue to pray. You continue to fight, not against anyone, but against your doubts. You continue to pray that you will be aligned with Him who knows all and sees all because you can't and you can't do it alone. You "Try, Try, Try," (by President Henry B Erying) "The world and your life can seem to you to be in increasing commotion. My reassurance is this: the loving God who allowed these tests for you also designed a sure way to pass through them". "With God Nothing Shall be Impossible" (by President Russell M. Nelson) " You may be momentarily disheartened, remember, life is not meant to be easy. Trials must be borne and grief endured along the way. As you remember that 'with God nothing shall be impossible' (Luke 1:37), know that He is your father. You are a son or daughter created in His image, entitled through your worthiness to receive revelation to help with your righteous endeavors. You may take upon you the holy name of the Lord. You can qualify to speak in the sacred name of God (see D&C 1:20).
"Wilt Thou be Made Whole?" (by Elder Matthew L. Carpenter) "Our Heavenly Father is all-knowing. He knows our physical struggles. He is aware of our physical pains due to illness, disease, aging, accidents, or birth disorders. He is aware of emotional struggles associated with anxiety, loneliness, depression, or mental illness. He knows each person who has suffered injustice or has been abused. He knows our weaknesses and the propensities and temptations we struggle with. During mortality we are tested to see if we will choose good over evil... Through His ministry, Christ taught that He had power over the physical body. We cannot control the timing of when Christ's healing of our physical ailments will occur. Healing occurs according to His will and wisdom. In the scriptures some suffered decades; others, their entire mortal lives. Mortal infirmities can refine us and deepen out reliance upon God. But when we allow Christ to be involved, He will always strengthen us spiritually so we can have greater capacity to endure our burdens."
Sure there have been things in these past few months that has been anything BUT perfect, that I've been tested with, that I've avoided, that have hurt me but I've also learned that I'm stronger than I think I am and that my Heavenly Father wants me nearer to Him so that I can witness all the good He is doing for me and so that I can go forth doing good for others. If you're having a hard time like me, I just want you to know you're not alone and if you have the time click the links above and read the talks because they have helped me to have the hope and faith that I'm clinging onto right now by the smallest thread.
I will not have all the answers but I hope that I can direct you to the One who does.
❤
Megan
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