Dating Jesus

 01/06/2024

I had another Jesus dream that was interrupted by my five in the morning alarm. I’ve been waiting and wanting another Jesus dream for awhile now but I certainly wasn’t expecting this one. It could easily be seen as blasphemous and I wouldn’t blame that view because when I woke up my first thought was “well that was an interesting dream”. This thought didn’t last long though as this exciting thought immediately replaced it, “I had another dream with Jesus in it”.

Why don’t we unpack the dream and maybe we’ll find more meaning behind it all. And please remember while reading this that while the dream is full of meaning and impactful there are still some "silly" elements that I will be sharing that are simply just because it is a dream! 

PART ONE

This is usually the part of the dream that is in ‘reality’ or Earth or the representation of life verses heaven.

The dream started with Da Beast and I driving to this hotel for a meeting with someone. I asked Da Beast multiple questions like who we were meeting, why were we’re meeting them, what was the meeting about, and where were we meeting.

Da Beast's answer to all of these questions was “I don’t know.” Which frustrated me more and more because if he was taking me to this meeting why didn’t he know more about it?! He told me that all he knew was so-n-so, who he DID know but I didn’t, had set up the meeting and that all he had was an address.

The address ended up leading us to this gate with a giant fancy white hotel behind it. I started to think this meeting was going to be high class and we were going to get the highest form of treatment from this mystery meeting when Da Beast interrupted my thoughts with, “Oh. This isn’t it. I thought this was the entrance but it’s actually over there.”

When I looked over towards the right of this magnificent, had to get extra permission to go through the gates, hotel my heart dropped into disappointment.

There tucked slightly behind this grand hotel was another hotel. This small peeling red paint hotel was literally shadowed by the other hotel. Da Beast turned our car around and took the exit right next to this elaborate hotel. It was so easy to miss because it looked more like a sketchy alleyway than it did an entrance.

My bitterness grew. My hopes of luxury were dried up. The closer we got to this meager hotel the more those sour feelings grew. Large chunks of the hotel was missing paint, the parking lot and sidewalks were cracked and missing big pieces of cement. Overall the hotel looked very uncared for and I didn’t want to be there.

Da Beast parked as best he could in an unlined parking lot and got out of the car to open my door for me. He offered me his arm and we walked side by side towards this two story hotel with only exterior corridors. Every room door faced outwards towards the parking lot. While I was busy heavily judging the place and feeling sorry that we had to be here at all, Da Beast was looking for the room number he was given. I don’t remember what it was l, perhaps six or seven, but we were up on the second floor right next to the stairs.

The metal stairs creaked and wobbled as we ascended and before we could even knock the door opened and there was the man so-n-so that Da Beast knew. He held open the door but I didn’t move at first. Da Beast had to tug my arm a bit to have me follow, which I did, into an empty hotel room.

When I looked at this man in disgruntled disbelief he shrugged an apology and propped open the door; I assumed for others. Despite the state of the location I never felt fear or uneasiness; only distain. The man looked at me and answered my unasked questions, “I was told that the place is being refurbished and to book a room to accommodate many.

PART TWO

This part of the dream is when it jumps to another place. In my other dreams this place was heaven. The dreams would start off chaotic or lonely and usually end up with some kind of entrance to heaven (usually a white glowing doorway). Once in heaven I’d run to Jesus and hug him. This dream wasn’t really like that other than the dream being split into two practically unrelated scenes .More and more people arrived and somehow there was enough room for them all. It was like the room expanded and had no capacity limit. Like Mary Poppins bag or Harmonies enchanted purse.

After everyone had arrived to the ever expansive hotel room that defied all logic, He arrived. Jesus walked in and everyone in the room cheered! He walked around greeting everyone and I just waited nervously hoping he’d notice me. There were a lot of people but it didn’t take long for him to notice. He made eye contact and smiled. I smiled back and gave him a small wave before I continued to stand there and  wait. It wasn’t that I didn’t want to greet Jesus, I just knew he had a lot of others to greet and when it was time I’d have a turn.

While I waited near the entrance a few more people arrived asking if this was the place to see Jesus. I smiled at them and said it was and welcomed them in. They didn’t return the smile and looked skeptical. I hoped they’d stay but I wasn’t sure if they would.

After this happen quite a few times the room was then called to attention for a prayer. Dream me seemed to know this prayer but wakeful me didn’t recognize it. I’m not sure what we were saying but it was a single phrase repeated three times each ending with a low bow to the ground.

Jesus’ voice then released us and he walked over to me and some other guy who was blurry in the dream but I knew it wasn’t Da Beast. In fact Da Beast didn’t play any role in this part of the dream.

We all sat down and just talked casually.

A few of the skeptical late comers then stood up and angrily told the three of us that, “this isn’t how it should be!” They then gestured around the room where there were many different groups talking, or snuggling. They said to Jesus that “isolating others” wasn’t how anyone should act let alone Jesus. Their angry faces said it all. They had arrived full of skepticism and a high bar of expectation that the current event wasn’t living up to. They had sat together looking around at others enjoying themselves and thinking that something was missing, or wasn’t right. Instead of seeing the room as a peaceful and calm place they had seen it as segregation and rejection. Being uncomfortable with their own feelings and letting their insecurities take over they had concluded that it was ‘them’ but it was everyone else.

This one instance and effort to act was in retaliation and followed by a huffy exit.

While Jesus had tried to talk to them he mostly just listened because he knew that they had made their choice. I, on the other hand, sat in confusion looking around the room trying to see what they saw and failing. I saw people tending to each other, hugging each other, conversing, laughing, smiling, cuddling, and so much more.

When I looked back at Jesus my heart broke. His eyes welled with tears and his face was contorted in pain. He was deeply sad for those who chose not to stay and there were more.

The man next to me pulled Jesus into his chest and Jesus cried uncontrollably while the man rocked him. Jesus clung to the man’s clothes.

“What more could I have done for them?”

I waited.

When Jesus had finished crying he looked drained and I offered my lap to him. He rested his head there and that was the first time that I noticed his hair was short. This observation left me feeling a bit sad that the classic depictions of Jesus having shoulder length hair wasn’t what I was seeing. I feel like I asked him why he cut it but I don’t remember his direct response. I feel like his answer had something to do with being able to recognize him even when you’re expecting something else.

We didn’t talk much after that and I was happy to have Jesus taking comfort with me. While he rested I ran my fingers through his dark hair. It was thick and loosely curly. It was curly enough for my fingers to get slightly caught in his hair but defined only to the extent of it being deeply wavy.

The other man then requested that Jesus rest in his lap and Jesus moved and now his legs were in front of me.

Being unpleased with this and not liking how I felt this man “stole Jesus from me” I tried to change my thoughts by making do with what I had and if all I had was Jesus’ legs then I was going to do what I could.

“This might tickle,” I said as I began to massage the calves of Jesus. He chuckled and asked me a question, perhaps one asking what  I was doing, to which I responded that legs were boring.

This seemed to surprise and amuse Jesus but I could see he was also about to teach me so I quickly said something like “boring enough to be useful!” And then I kept massaging his calves which did tickle him a bit and he laughed more.

Hearing Jesus laugh and knowing that I got to be a part of it, especially after he had just been drowned in sadness, changed and lifted my mood. It didn’t matter what half of Jesus I got to spend time with, the important thing was that Jesus was with me.

Eventually Jesus had moved to behind me and I got to lean back on him. He held me tightly and whispered in my ear the very thing I had convinced myself by now wouldn’t happen. I was in such shock that I didn’t even hear all he said only what he asked at the end, “do you promise that the relationship you and I have will continue only because of and through Him?”

Unable to speak I just nodded understanding the God, our Father in Heaven, came first.

“Then you and I can be together.” He said.

“Like we’re dating?” I turned around and asked. He smiled and nodded again but there was some worry in his eyes.

PART THREE

Usually this part of the dream (if it’s there at all) is going back into “life”. For example in a previous dream where I went to Heaven and wanted to stay with Jesus he told me it wasn’t time and that I had to complete my mission. This mission was going and gathering my brothers and sisters to lead them to where he was because like all my dreams before this, He’s always tucked away somewhere. In other words you have to be actively looking for him to find him or you’ll get swept up with the rest of the world. This dream was slightly different as it’s been showing to be this far. The dream continued with me dating Jesus but instead it was a compilation of different instances and being narrated by myself.

I was ecstatic to be dating Jesus so much that I thought, “so it wasn’t a Mary that Jesus dated in the Bible it was a Megan”. A silly thought but I believe still holds meaning, so stick with me. After that I struggled. Dating Jesus wasn’t anything like I thought it would be. I thought when you dated someone who wanted to be around them all the time. When dating Jesus, Jesus is often out with others. For example while we were at a barbecue Jesus was off talking to everyone while I stood back feeling confused and jealous. Even when I was right next to Jesus trying to follow him and his example by also socializing I felt like he wasn’t with me and I was falling short.

I wanted so badly to be the BEST companion for Jesus but every kind thing I did for him I felt more like I was in the way, clumsy, or doing something that he could do himself but better. He never seemed to mind. In fact he always waited patiently, smiled warmly, and thanked me before going off to talk to someone else again.

I felt that I was dating Jesus in the wrong way and worried that if I continued to be super clingy and demanding of his personal attention, for just me, that the relationship would be over; that everything would end and I knew it would be because I let my insecurities win.

Just when I was contemplating what I needed to change, my alarm went off.

CONCLUSION

There is a saying that I’ve read that says “the closer you get to Jesus the more unworthy you’ll begin to feel”.

I believe that the last two parts of the dream this was the over-arching theme. First by witnessing others in part two of the dream and then also by myself in the third part of the dream. In both cases our insecurities were getting the better of us and these insecurities were rooted in what WE thought or expected things should be. In part one of the dream there was also heavy expectations. Let’s break down the main points of the dream.

Part one

• Fancy hotel verses frumpy hotel. The fancy hotel was so tall it shadowed the little hotel next to it. The little hotel was also hard to find and mentioned to be “under refurbishment”.  Writing down my dream I couldn’t help but think that the desirable hotel, based off of looks and comfort, was the great and spacious building in Levi’s dream. It wasn’t hard to find and you didn’t need to look for it. Everything else looked “less then” when compared to the fancy hotel. It would be the obvious choice for many to stay at because it supports the ideology that living a life of luxury, fame, fortune, high status or popularity, and being heard and accepted was what to strive for.
• Da Beast. There was a reason Da Beast was in this part of the dream because without him I may have just stayed in my place and then when at the hotel I might have just stood by the gate hoping to get noticed and let inside. Then finally at the door of the frumpy hotel I might have not even gone inside. This isn’t to say that I can’t and haven’t chose to follow directions that don’t make sense to me before but often when I don’t understand something I feel frustrated and challenged and Da Beast is always there to help me through it.

Part Two

• The second coming. This part of the dream while being written down was feeling a lot like “waiting on Jesus”. We were all gathered and waited for him to arrive. When he arrived I still stood by the entrance waiting for my turn to greet Jesus and welcoming late comers who resembled those who accept Jesus after his second coming.
• Prayer. The very specific prayer in another language has me very curious. Especially the fact that I knew it.
• Judgement. Just like the first part of the dream, judgement without curiosity was heavily present. When we make a judgement from the stand point of what we “expect” verses what we are “curious about” it doesn’t matter what anyone else says because we’re not focusing on “understanding” since we already feel like we have it “all figured out”.
• Mourning. Jesus is devastated when we leave him or isolate ourselves from Him as he is always there for us, even when he is visiting with others. We don’t “own” any part of Jesus. Sometimes we might only have his legs and feet, meaning sometimes we just have to wait or follow him while he talks to someone else. This doesn’t mean we’re any less important to Him. Just because others don’t show us Jesus, or gives us what we feel we need from them doesn’t mean our relationship with Christ isn’t there. What it DOES mean is regardless of what others are doing it is our own responsibility to get to know Jesus. It is our own choices that determine what we’re apart of. And Christ mourns for each and every souls that leaves. But only those who stay with him can see that. Jesus then asks as does the Lord of the Vineyard, “what more could I have done?”
• Our Relationship with Jesus. Crossing over with what was said in previous section on mourning, and going into part three where I think “so it wasn’t a Mary that Jesus dated in the Bible it was a Megan”, our relationship to Jesus is because of and through God our Father. While this IS a dream and thoughts and saying can be a little off key I think the important thing to note about this cross section of part two and three of the dream is just saying that God comes first and anyone can put their name in a relationship with a Jesus. When we covenant, or make the promise, that we will put God first then we are tied to Jesus because that is exactly what His work is all about. He is the arrow pointing to God and when we align ourselves with Him by also making our work about God then we begin a relationship of working in tandem WITH Christ.

Part Three

• Dating Jesus. Continuing from where we left off in the last section and the second part of the dream, I don’t seem to understand what dating Jesus is supposed to look like and my mistakes, insecurities, faults, and embarrassments become all exposed. Sometimes being as  close as we can get to Jesus we can loose sight of what was important in the first place. Instead of patience and long suffering to get to where we are, dating Jesus, now that we’re here we’re struggling, feeling more like we have to “preform”. I think should the dream had continued I would have come to the conclusion that while I fussed and worried about doing everything right I was missing out on the real opportunity to watch Jesus at work and to be with him. I wasn’t enjoying my time with him because I forgot to keep watch of him. Instead my focus turned to myself on all the things I was messing up. When your dating someone of COURSE you want to be with the ALL THE TIME. But you know you don’t have to be with them all the time. When you have the same end goals, dreams, pursuits, and ideas then you know your relationship is a ‘sure thing’ because you’ll both end up in the same place. You might take different routes based off of personalized preferences to those goals, dreams, pursuits, and ideas that separates you for a time but the reunions are always sweeter because of it. When dating Jesus it’s no different. You both promised to each other to be there for the other and that you’ll “meet back up with God”. Our father in Heaven is the commonality that keeps your union with Jesus a “sure thing”. Jesus is always there and while there will be many times you’re right there next to him in the thick of things there will also be sometimes where you’ll feel some distance as you’re off doing exactly what you need to be doing to spread his word. How sweet will the reunion be when you join together again with Jesus, after having done his work and he was also away doing his work, the will of the father. Jesus doesn’t just need followers, he also needs companions. Followers go where a leader is present and desire to be in constant companionship, especially when they are struggling. Companions are followers who have enough understanding that their confidence in their relationship to Jesus means that they are his helpmeets/helpmates. They can go off on side quests and accomplish his work without needing to be told EXACTLY what to do because he accepts all offerings and we know where to find him. We lessen HIS load by aiding in HIS work.
• Co-op example. When playing a co-op video game you both have the same goals and targets but often times might go about completing those goals or reaching those targets in slightly different ways. But you only have your screen in front of you. Sometimes your companion is in your screen. Sometimes they’re not. Sometimes you or your companion strays too far and a warning sign on the game pops up saying to “get back to your partner”. However, no matter how the game is actually played out, no matter how many times you fail, make a mistake, or have to reevaluate your strategy if you are playing the game with someone you know wants the same thing you do in the end, you don’t ever question that they won’t be there when you need them to revive you, back you up, or help you strategize. And thanks to the visual marker you always know where they are. Playing this game with Jesus is the best guarantee that you WILL finish and BEAT the game.