There are lots of situations that make us feel as though our roots are dangling underneath us instead of surrounded by the comforting soil that was nurturing us. Situations like family separation or moving to another location. Sometimes these two things are one and the same.
Here are some traditions I’ve found that I like, but haven’t all tried, that I think can bring joy in these times of being uprooted:
1. If you are the ones moving, say goodbye to your house whether you liked living there or not. Go through each room and talk about a memory together that you had in that room. Go from room to room recounting memories and I promise that even the least-liked place you’ve ever lived will suddenly become a holy place for you and your family. When the home is all empty and basically all clean sit on the ground, picnic style, and have your last meal in the place that gave you comfort, growth, shelter, friends, additional family, and many memories. Bringing gratitude into a busy and venerable time will help to ground you and help you to recognize how far you've come and how much you've grown.
2. If you are the one leaving while those you love stay behind write “open when” letters to them. Or if you’re the one who is staying behind as your loved ones go off to do something incredible, write them “open when” letters. Open when letters are prewritten letters for a specific situation, time, or event that your loved one may experience in your absence. They get to open them whenever they feel they may need your words and love. Sure with todays technology we’re only a phone call away from each other but sometimes that’s not possible such as basic training, time differences, deployment, emergencies, power outages, passing away etc. plus it’s nice to have another written words sometimes. Some examples of “open when” letters include: Open when you feel sad, happy, anxious, lonely, bored, etc. ; Open when you: miss me, need a hug, need a friend, had a bad day, get mad at a friend, etc. ;Open when you want to: laugh, cry, dance, go somewhere, fight, blame someone, stay home, etc. ;Open when: it rains, seems too good to be true, you’re needing to make a difficult decision ; Open when you: start a new grade, get married, have your first child, graduate, fall in love, get your drivers license, etc. ;Open when you celebrate your birthday, Christmas, Thanksgiving, Halloween, an accomplishment, an anniversary, first job, etc.
3. Be regular and consistent in connection. If your loved one has specific interests your aware of and you see it send it to them, take a picture of it and text it to them, call/video chat them to experience the item or event together. Thanks to all the many programs and technology that is available it’s even possible to send your family a meal or present from anywhere. You can even watch movies together, play online games, or share similar meals at the same time as the other. Whatever sparks your connection with them ignite it with consistency.
4. If you are the ones moving to a new place you’ve never been before find or create some art like state capital silhouettes. Find out what the area is most known for and create, buy, or observe it. Store those mementos in a photo book, scrapbook, jar, etc. However you decide to celebrate your new place of living do it soon after moving there before you get TOO acquainted with the area and start wondering what the significance of it was in the first place. On the other side of that however, is as you are moving take the pictures that seem insignificant. Take that time in the hustle of moving to take pictures of where you lived. It’ll become important to you later if/when you move again.
5. Once you've arrived somewhere new dedicate it with prayer, hopes, dreams, and good positive energy.
Moving to a new location physically can keep us from processing things emotionally and spiritually which are also affected during and uprooting. Sometimes the 'movement' can also only be emotionally and spiritually, without any physical upheaval necessary. Either way I loved these suggestions to take care of our emotional and spiritual experiences during times where we live in the midst of a paradox; knowing what is good for us while also mourning for where we are or have been.
Yesterday, June 24th we got our official orders from the Air Force. These are different than just being assigned to England as they have approved and signed off on our medical and other pre-paperwork. We have been cleared to get passports and start planning with TMO (Traffic Management Office) who help us arrange for all of our things to be packed up and sent over the Atlantic ocean within a 8,000 pound weight limit! They also help with all other aspects of moving over to a new base.
Today, June 25th, marks exactly three years since we moved into our home here on Beale, AFB and now we are about ten weeks away from getting on a plane for an eleven hour flight from LA to London! Ten more Sundays!
For months I've been feeling like a plant slowly being uprooted. I can feel the tops of my roots exposed to the uncomfortable and chilly unknown. I trust in the ultimate farmers hands as he gently pulls me from the nurturing soil that I had been planted in here. It has been well with my soul to be here with the kind and spiritually driven people of our ward and the compassionate and giving people of friends we have made in our base community. They have been exceptional soil for me to grow in and unfortunately I've grown as much as I can in this pot. I've been pruned, loved, and cared for. Now it's time for me to be repotted into some European soil! I know this is the way it goes and I'm excited to see what else I grow into there but in order for that to happen there has to be a moment where my roots just dangle in the air for awhile before I'm back into the new pot and soil prepared for me by my loving father in Heaven, the ultimate gardener.
To live within this paradox is accepting that things can be more than one thing. I can be sad and excited at the same time. I can love being alone and with family at different times. I can love two very different people the same but in different ways. I can be confident and scared at the same time. I can have faith and still not understand all things. I can be fine with moving on but also miss what I'm leaving behind. Life is designed to be in paradoxes. To know the good from the bad. To know joy and pain simultaneously. To be in despair and still hold out hope. It's what allows us to choose and sometimes those choices seem nearly impossible to make.
We can only live in a paradox for so long. Eventually a choice needs to be made. I choice to be brave and productive but my sadness about leaving welled higher inside of me until I talked to my sister and reflected with her how far I'd come. Once I choice to allow the sadness a place she visited and then she moved on too. Some choices don't have to be a one or the other. Life has a way of offering us the same opportunities again to choose a different path. Some choices are just a 'not yet'; each choice taking it's turn when the time is right.
For me, right now, that was being brave and then sad so I could come to terms with really being at peace.
As for being uprooted, just because our choice means leaving things behind, what it doesn't mean is that all of our connection to what we've built is now broken. It means we are going forward with fortification. It means we're trusted and strong enough to handle the transfer. It means this is our turn to be brave and someone else's turn to be open.
What you need always has a way of coming back to you. Somehow. Someway.
We'll be back!
xoxo
-Megan
